So when I tell you this little story, understand I couldn’t be this creative. Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction, and not to be as cliché as that sounds, but it is absolutely the case here. This ex-boyfriend is a special case. There are so many special little tales I could tell, from his delusions, his stealing my medicine to get whatever high he was looking for, from dreaming about having sex with his cousin (yes, at least that’s what he told me he dreamt about) to THIS. This story is more true than I could possibly want to admit.
I had heard stories about his ex, the mother of his children. I had heard his trash talking, his regrets, a lot of it. Drama seemed to follow this dude. All over the damn place in this Mile High City. But to his credit, I followed him, so it was NOT one of my proudest dating choices. I’ll be 100% honest there. After all the complaints and bitching about the ex, his newest request came as quite a shock, despite being aware of some of his delusions (there would be no sex with the cousin or art show starring him, etc.).
Sooo, the ex is coming to town (from out-of-state). Okay. I spend a lot of time over there with him and his son, so I figured I may meet her. No one is supposed to stay over there as I found out he had some special funding and a case manager (Section 8, I have no clue). Anyway, I owned my condo at the time; I could care less about his special housing situation. Except when I can’t go over at all. A few days prior to her arrival he said he had to talk to me about her coming. He told me, “you won’t be able to come over for a few days”. I asked why as this was very new. He explained that his ex was coming, to which I relied that I was well aware of the fact. I was LESS aware that she would be staying with him. I told him that there is no where for her to stay really as his daughter will stay on the couch. He explained the situation according to him. And that the ex will be sleeping with him (but “nothing will happen”).
“Imagine I am like Jesus Christ. Jesus had disciples”. Yes, I am familiar. And yes, he actually said this. So he goes on, seriously. He explains that like Jesus, he has disciples and his ex and daughter are two examples. Hmmm. Okay. He has to bring them in to his place, and not turn them away in order to live a life like Jesus lived. Who the hell said he had to sleep with them? Did Jesus sleep with his disciples? That part of the Bible is not familiar to me. Please explain. Perhaps if he did, this ex of mine was more like Jesus than he imagined. So what ended up happening?
My insecure self just accepted what he had to say. I stayed aware while the ex stayed with their daughter. Soon after that, they decided to get back together. Surprise, surprise. I am so sure nothing happened in bed that week. Between Jesus and his disciple.
I think I may have dodged a bullet there. I always have said Jesus is one of the top ten dead people I’d love to meet. I just pictured him a little differently.
Please share with me any bizarre dating stories. That’s what Throwback Thursdays are all about!!
Music pairing: Sympathy for the Devil by the Rolling Stones