Category: Dating

So you have a girlfriend, eh?

So I meet this guy on Tinder, Yeah, Tinder. ugh! But anyway, he seems willing to meet the same day, that evening. So far, so good, I meet him at this bar in Cherry Creek and we have great conversation; I think we may have been there at least two hours. We made a date for Friday at a bar closer to him.

The next day we texted and decided to meet that night halfway between us; literally, the next day after our date. Or the day after…I cant remember, but definitely within 48 hours, He gave me good feedback on the blog. We had good conversation and talked about Friday as well. Then he leaned in and said he had to tell me something,

Then he reveals he actually has this girlfriend in Canada (where he used to live) that he broke up with like within a day of going on Tinder. Per the Canadian, she was supposed to move to the States in December. In January. Then in February. Then she said she wasn’t moving at all, so they parted ways and he met me on Tinder. Then the day of our second date, she called him and said she wanted to move to Colorado in June. And boom: he has a girlfriend again!

“Would you like to be friends and we can see where this goes?” he asked. I was in horror. Why in the hell would I want to be friends with a guy who I had no future with? Just in case his relationship doesn’t work out? I told him I would think about it.

I went home and slept on it. Slept well in fact. For an insomniac, that’s saying something. I texted him and told him I did not need to be friends with him; after all I didn’t get on Tinder to meet ’friends’! He wrote back, saying he respected my decision. And that’s that. You’re sure you want to stay on Tinder, eh?

The end of the writer’s block—at least I hope so!

It’s been so many months since I have posted; I know that it’s not right, but I had a big dose of life going on. I finally got my place in Denver. I’ve always lived in Denver and the surrounding area, but this is ownership in the actual city! Amidst the homelessness, the violence, the substance abuse crisis, and many others ailments of Denver, I am the proud owner of a condo in a very established neighborhood. While I moved in August, I am just now feeling more settled.

I have been writing about relationships and exercise. Separately. Two different entities. I think its time to stop that. I think that I am ready to blend those tow areas of my life, because they have truly been intermixed this whole time. I think my weight has gotten in the way of my relationships and I think seeking a relationship has taken time from my time at the gym. They are indeed fused and I can’t compartmentalize them any more.

I think its also time I write about my valuable friendships, because they are the glue that holds me together sometimes; I think it’s only right that I make a few changes to my approach…mostly because its overdue, but also it may help me break my creative block. In the next posts to come, you will read about my life and adventures in staying fit, navigating the dating scene, and travel.

More to come….

The dating game…… sucks.

The dating game sucks. It really does. I hate to be negative; in fact I am far from negative typically. I am so positive and optimistic…. or I was. For a long time, I actually believed the next one could be the one. I used to love having a clean slate on a first date, a new start at something great. Ok… I rhymed a little too much there! Sorry! But seriously, I haven’t met anyone of taste, character, or integrity and very infrequently, someone who is physically attractive to me. Then there are the scammers online (dating apps). There are quite a few profiles for the scammers out there, but many say they are overseas, US Military (but they are not actually in the armed forces) or doing some shady business; if they are not claiming they are military, they are widowed. Some claim they will never ask you for a penny, but in 48 hours, they are asking for iTunes cards, bit coin conversion deposits, etc…. It is a joke.

So the first thing I usually do when I get a match is ask if they currently live in Denver. They either don’t respond or admit they are on a ‘peacekeeping mission in _____” and will be back in two or three months time. No thanks.

I have to get more positive. Id much rather meet someone in person or through mutual friends, but that is challenging when your friends don’t have any suggestions!!

Stay tuned!!

Treadmill 2.0

So, I haven’t been on my treadmill for months. Four months to be exact. Till about Saturday. I realized after stepping on the scale to see my “biggest number ever” that something was going to have to change. I had knee issues. I used that as an excuse to just stop altogether. Why try when you can just quit?! Well, we know that’s just stupid. But that’s how I regarded my Peloton for months. Now, I had to get it together. I will do anything to never see that number again. Ever.

Because of my knees, I am starting slow. I am going to walk 15 minutes every other day. After one to two weeks, I will work up to 20-25minutes and keep going every two weeks up to 45 minute walks. Then I will add the incline.

My short term goal is to notice some weight loss (my food choices are changing too and that will be another post) in the next month. I hope to keep that going every week. I have gained a lot. My weight loss goal is 45-50 pounds. I will not stoop until I get there. That’s where I was 2-4 years ago when I had lost with another fitness/food plan. I had goals and guidelines in February that I plan to live by.

My long term goal for the Spring of 2021: the Manitou Incline. Readers: I welcome you to take a look at this trail in Colorado. It is not a 14’er, but it is my goal and accomplishing this will make me truly proud.

I’ll keep you all posted!!

Larger than life.

Okay, so I was told, or rather texted that I was the most shallow person ever. That I should be ashamed of myself for how horrible I was for ultimately having to confess I was not attracted to him after meeting him. I thought I could get there (attraction), but I just could not.

Let’s back up a second. I guess I should begin at the beginning. We didn’t talk that long before we met, but our first night of talking was a marathon. Yes, a marathon of 5.5 hours. Jesus. I was attracted to his face. I asked for more pics because well, I needed to get the full picture! He warned me that he had back surgery almost 2 years ago and had gained some weight then got sick, so his weight loss has not really taken off. He sent me some vague pics, but they didn’t seem so bad. So bad is an understatement. I agreed to visit him in the Springs. So we decided on last Tuesday. I was pretty excited, because our conversations have been great and we were looking for the same things; I didn’t see anything that could go wrong, except physical attraction and I was hoping I would not be disappointed.

I got to his house. I knocked on the door. It was kind of downhill from there. He warned me his house was going to be a mess because he had been sick a few weeks ago and had not cleaned his kitchen yet (even though he was sick weeks ago and fine now). And while his kitchen was fairly atrocious with dishes everywhere and crap food sitting on the counter tops (does he even eat healthfully?), the biggest issue was staring back right at me. He was much bigger than he led me to believe. His photos that he sent to me were very vague and hid a lot, as it turned out. My face didn’t lie. Apparently, he could tell right away that I was taken aback by his appearance. I know this is downright horrible, but I feel this is misleading advertising. I feel that while beauty is skin deep (I really do), physical attraction is a huge part to a spark.

I know I need to lose weight too, so this is the part that is so hard. I had full pics on my profile though from the last few months. So we talked about it …the weight. We talked about weight being temporary and how we can both lose weight; I just couldn’t keep the disappointment off my face. I wasn’t convinced, but I was trying to rationalize my long trip down to the Springs and my investment in this very short lived relationship. We came to the conclusion that we would try to lose weight together. So I felt that would satisfy me for a while. I spent the night with him, which was a huge mistake. Huge mistake. It just brought the fact home that I absolutely COULD NOT do this. I didn’t sleep at all that night. I don’t know if it was the strange bed, the strange man, or simply the size of the man sleeping next to me. I couldn’t wait to get out of there in the morning.

The next day, I barely texted; he asked me what was up and I said all was fine, but I was busy working. The truth. And not the truth. Yes, I was on the clock, but that never stopped me from spending time texting with him through out the day. He could tell there was something different. When he asked me what was going on, I was vague. I was kind. I didn’t see the need to be blunt, but in all honesty that was at the recommendation of my good friend. I really just wanted to be done with it. He pressured me and dug for answers. He told me to not give him riddles.. Tell him like it is. So I told him there was no sexual chemistry for me; I was not physically attracted to him. It was then I got the text. The horrifying text that I was indeed shallow. I was awful and should be ashamed of myself. This was the shittiest thing that ever happened to him. I apologized. He said to stop messaging him. So I stopped. But I couldn’t stop thinking how I made him feel. Even though he sent me misleading photos. Even though I invested a lot of time into the beginning of this relationship.

That would be great if that was the end of the story, but its not. It’s not a good story without a little irony thrown in for good measure. So a few days after he told me I was extremely (he used a different word) shallow, I stepped on the scale.

I weighed more than I have ever weighed in my life. Ever.

Music I am listening to: Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morissette (think Ironic).

Stay tuned: I am now embarking on a new journey toward weight loss and fitness reminiscent of the others I have blogged about, but more permanent.

I am back!!

Hey everyone!!

I have no good excuse for not writing since Covid -19 hit us hard. I really don’t know what happened; you would think Denver’s Shelter In Place period would have been the perfect time to really catch up on writing as there was nothing else to do. Even when things opened up a bit, I should have opened up and started writing again. I am not sure what happened, but I have some ideas. And I want to share them as I start to explore more about myself and what’s keeping me from my ultimate personal success (relationships, fitness, work, etc)….

I deal with anxiety and insomnia on a fairly regular basis. Covid -19 made writing and being physically and mentally healthy much more difficult for me. It became almost impossible for me to find the creative energy to blog and then soon after writer’s block set in. Nothing bad happened to me; I never got really sick, but I did have some preliminary symptoms and got tested (negative).

I have been out and about and continuing to gain some bizarre experiences in the dating world. I have some stories to tell, but I have to play catch up first and bring you all up to date.

First of all, I sold the place I lived in suburbia; that was a sociological experiment gone wrong; I felt so out of place amongst the families and the chit chat that goes with being married with kids. I belong in the city. I moved back into Denver in the summer and I am so happy! Secondly, one of my closest friends is my roommate and we are having fun. I am settled, along with my two pups. I need to start blogging again (this is a good start) and exercising.

Between me and some good friends, I have experienced and heard some dating misadventures and I will be sharing those stories soon with you all. I am also going to restart my journey toward good health and fitness. Physical health also took a huge hiatus when I moved.

So, hang tight people, because I have finally emerged from my hiatus and I have plenty to share.

The Treadmill

Even when I didn’t feel like getting on it today with my sore knees, I made the commitment to walk for 30 minutes. I can walk slower with a lower incline. But I need to just do it. I need to lose 40 pounds by July.

So I got on the treadmill. I chose a less vigorous walk and did not expend as many calories, but I did use it and took it easy on my knees. I will push myself tomorrow as well. It feels good to have something I can easily accomplish. I don’t think I could be as consistent if I didn’t have this access to a treadmill in my basement.

And I trudge on!

The Man free zone: two months in….

So aside from the unsuccessful dates I am agreeing to through the matching making service I paid too much for, my man free zone is clear of the Y chromosome, for the most part. I do have lunch with a male friend from time to time, but in my personal space there is not a single Y chromosome. How am I doing with this?

I am a little lonely. I am so picky …I feel its going to take a miracle to find someone I can tolerate. I don’t want someone perfect; that just doesn’t even exist anyway…and I don’t think he necessarily needs to check all the boxes…but the basics please. I hope by now, at least, he’s learning how to wash his hands after using the bathroom. He has to care about exercise, eating right, and not drink excessively. He just needs to be physically attractive to me and mentally sharp. It’s been nice being free of the drama on the dating sites, but I feel that I have almost been more successful there than this matchmaking service. But I will hold off till the end of March. 90 days is enough, but may be longer, who knows?!

Are my expectations too high? How do I lower them? Should I lower them? After April starts, I will revisit this and contemplate my expectations again.

What I am listening to: Back to Black by Amy Winehouse.

A new treadmill, a new journey…

So, here I am, rededicating my life (once again) to a healthier lifestyle. I made a list of goals in this area of my life. I hope I can meet or maintain them by July 1, 2020. I bought a beautiful treadmill after 2 months of contemplation. Is it worth it? Will I use it? Do I need it? I decided I am worth it. I will use it at least 5/7 days a week. Do I need it? I am not sure , but I think if having my own tread will help me use it 5/7 days per week, I do need it for my wellbeing. Because I am worth it.

I discontinued my gym membership right after I had the tread. In the first week of owning my treadmill, I used it 5 days the first week. I need to push myself. I am working on 30 minutes for each workout at least 3 days a week and the other two days, i will do 15min. I want to extend this in the next months to 45 and 30 respectively. Ive been getting a burning sensation in my shins and wondering if stretching will help this? If I can’t increase my speed, I will work on my incline, then eventually both speed and incline. I didn’t really use anything else at the gym, so I feel justified in just focusing on the tread at home. This one comes with yoga, stretch meditation, boot camps and other classes. I intend to make the most of it Of course its an additional membership, but so far it’s been worth it. My biggest goal on the treadmill is to PUSH MYSELF. I don’t run, so I am going to intensify my walk with increased speed, incline, and frequency of extended work outs.

As far as eating, the holiday season was insane. Too much crap: candy, carbs and chips, among other things. I want to get back to my breakfast shakes, carrots and celery for snacks, and proteins and veggies for meals. I am going to eat less when I go out and no desserts. It’s the little things…and big things that will make a difference. So my goals really combine fitness and health;

1. Lose 30 pounds by July 1,2020.

2. Continue 5/7 days per week using treadmill: at least 3 days maximum workout I am capable of.

3. No desserts or candy (these are not needed at all for any diet and thus, I will make an absolute rule as far as these items).

4. Blog weekly about my progress

5. Limit alcoholic beverages to 3/week maximum.

Do or not do. There is no try- Yoda

Wish me luck. With respect to my previous post about not dating for 90 days, I will have a lot more time to devote to these goals.

Stay tuned! Drop me a line if you have any advice!!