fitness – Brilliant Distraction

Why so long???

I ask myself this….. why haven’t I posted in so long? I could say that I have been busy, but everyone is busy….excuses, excuses… Is it because I am afraid of getting stalked a little and my voice is self-censored because I don’t want to deal with that? Maybe. Is it because I don’t have anything to say right now? I don’t think so, I am always thinking of things to blog about at the most inopportune time.

I changed gyms and getting regular with a gym that I love; the problem has been food. Food gets in the way and we know you can’t outrun a bad diet. Not that I run….of course not, but you know what I mean. Over all, I have been better, but as I type, I am sipping on a calorie free iced tea paired with a polycaloric croissant. Why do I do this to myself? I have eaten slightly less sugary crap. Though, when that Cinnabon store opens at the mall, I will be in trouble.

What I need to do is carve out time for meal prep like I used to do. I prepared the week by making chicken on one day and a big salad and eating that during the week, This is what I need to be doing. I will blog more. And more often. That is my promise to you!

Till then….

Treadmill 2.0

So, I haven’t been on my treadmill for months. Four months to be exact. Till about Saturday. I realized after stepping on the scale to see my “biggest number ever” that something was going to have to change. I had knee issues. I used that as an excuse to just stop altogether. Why try when you can just quit?! Well, we know that’s just stupid. But that’s how I regarded my Peloton for months. Now, I had to get it together. I will do anything to never see that number again. Ever.

Because of my knees, I am starting slow. I am going to walk 15 minutes every other day. After one to two weeks, I will work up to 20-25minutes and keep going every two weeks up to 45 minute walks. Then I will add the incline.

My short term goal is to notice some weight loss (my food choices are changing too and that will be another post) in the next month. I hope to keep that going every week. I have gained a lot. My weight loss goal is 45-50 pounds. I will not stoop until I get there. That’s where I was 2-4 years ago when I had lost with another fitness/food plan. I had goals and guidelines in February that I plan to live by.

My long term goal for the Spring of 2021: the Manitou Incline. Readers: I welcome you to take a look at this trail in Colorado. It is not a 14’er, but it is my goal and accomplishing this will make me truly proud.

I’ll keep you all posted!!

Larger than life.

Okay, so I was told, or rather texted that I was the most shallow person ever. That I should be ashamed of myself for how horrible I was for ultimately having to confess I was not attracted to him after meeting him. I thought I could get there (attraction), but I just could not.

Let’s back up a second. I guess I should begin at the beginning. We didn’t talk that long before we met, but our first night of talking was a marathon. Yes, a marathon of 5.5 hours. Jesus. I was attracted to his face. I asked for more pics because well, I needed to get the full picture! He warned me that he had back surgery almost 2 years ago and had gained some weight then got sick, so his weight loss has not really taken off. He sent me some vague pics, but they didn’t seem so bad. So bad is an understatement. I agreed to visit him in the Springs. So we decided on last Tuesday. I was pretty excited, because our conversations have been great and we were looking for the same things; I didn’t see anything that could go wrong, except physical attraction and I was hoping I would not be disappointed.

I got to his house. I knocked on the door. It was kind of downhill from there. He warned me his house was going to be a mess because he had been sick a few weeks ago and had not cleaned his kitchen yet (even though he was sick weeks ago and fine now). And while his kitchen was fairly atrocious with dishes everywhere and crap food sitting on the counter tops (does he even eat healthfully?), the biggest issue was staring back right at me. He was much bigger than he led me to believe. His photos that he sent to me were very vague and hid a lot, as it turned out. My face didn’t lie. Apparently, he could tell right away that I was taken aback by his appearance. I know this is downright horrible, but I feel this is misleading advertising. I feel that while beauty is skin deep (I really do), physical attraction is a huge part to a spark.

I know I need to lose weight too, so this is the part that is so hard. I had full pics on my profile though from the last few months. So we talked about it …the weight. We talked about weight being temporary and how we can both lose weight; I just couldn’t keep the disappointment off my face. I wasn’t convinced, but I was trying to rationalize my long trip down to the Springs and my investment in this very short lived relationship. We came to the conclusion that we would try to lose weight together. So I felt that would satisfy me for a while. I spent the night with him, which was a huge mistake. Huge mistake. It just brought the fact home that I absolutely COULD NOT do this. I didn’t sleep at all that night. I don’t know if it was the strange bed, the strange man, or simply the size of the man sleeping next to me. I couldn’t wait to get out of there in the morning.

The next day, I barely texted; he asked me what was up and I said all was fine, but I was busy working. The truth. And not the truth. Yes, I was on the clock, but that never stopped me from spending time texting with him through out the day. He could tell there was something different. When he asked me what was going on, I was vague. I was kind. I didn’t see the need to be blunt, but in all honesty that was at the recommendation of my good friend. I really just wanted to be done with it. He pressured me and dug for answers. He told me to not give him riddles.. Tell him like it is. So I told him there was no sexual chemistry for me; I was not physically attracted to him. It was then I got the text. The horrifying text that I was indeed shallow. I was awful and should be ashamed of myself. This was the shittiest thing that ever happened to him. I apologized. He said to stop messaging him. So I stopped. But I couldn’t stop thinking how I made him feel. Even though he sent me misleading photos. Even though I invested a lot of time into the beginning of this relationship.

That would be great if that was the end of the story, but its not. It’s not a good story without a little irony thrown in for good measure. So a few days after he told me I was extremely (he used a different word) shallow, I stepped on the scale.

I weighed more than I have ever weighed in my life. Ever.

Music I am listening to: Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morissette (think Ironic).

Stay tuned: I am now embarking on a new journey toward weight loss and fitness reminiscent of the others I have blogged about, but more permanent.

Just do it 2

I am really struggling. What is my problem!? I want to join the ranks of healthy and fit minded people. I want to balk at burgers, pizza, and nachos. What is making me instead, whole heartedly magnetized to these foods? Is it emotional eating? I don’t think so? But how do I know? I don’t feel especially more satisfied after eating crap food, so why do I still eat it? I have done the committed diet lifestyle before. Twice!

I think sometimes I am just not ready. Then I think, “that’s not true!”… I want to change, lose weight, lose the desire for poor choices. Right now I just finished a low calorie snack that is part of a lifestyle change…and an unsweetened iced tea (no calories) and feel great. Every time I make good choices, I feel great. This is a no brainer, right? Right. Now I just have to shift my choices. Protein and veggies (French fries don’t count) for me! Once I lose the weight, all the abdominal and strength training work I am doing with my personal trainer will show through, given that I am still working out.

On a positive note, I am getting exercise in mostly every week. A nice walk, dancing at the club (don’t laugh-I burned about 500 calories Friday night!), walking around huge convention centers (another 350 calories)…. I also am wrapping up my personal training this month. I am starting Pilates and super excited about that. I will be committing to that three times a week. For the weeks that personal training and Pilates over lap, I will be doing them both on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Yay me! I am looking forward to making a difference with my new Pilates body, but I said that with personal training. That’s where nutrition and good food choices come in.

Here I go!

If any one has ideas on how to get motivated, I will certainly invite them. Intellectually I know this comes from within, but inspiration is always invited!!

Just do it.

I have been in such a stagnant mess about my nutrition. I don’t know what it is, but I am half-assed about my diet plan and eating lifestyle. I think I want to eat well; I even try on many occasions by grabbing one of my fueling on this lifestyle plan I am on. But it is NOT working. I end up going out and being half-assed: eating a big cheeseburger with out the bun and salad on the side instead of fries. Healthy-ish at best. It would be best to get a salad with grilled protein. Taco salads are not real salads either when you consider the sour cream and cheese. Or Chipotle for the same reason, even when I go with out the tortilla and with black beans and brown rice. First of all, I need to lose the rice. And the cheese and sour cream. What am I talking about? I need to just not walk into Chipotle. Nothing personal Chipotle, but you are not healthy eating for me. I am doing okay on the fitness part of weight loss, but the nutrition is so difficult right now for me. Weight loss is mostly about nutrition. Once I lose this weight, my awesome core from my good fitness practice will show through!

I need to just stick with proteins and veggies. That’s really it. I lost 32 pounds this way. I am going to use the rest of my fuelings from this diet/lifestyle plan I started again (I had lost some weight temporarily with the plan in the beginning of 2018 or end of 2017 I think). Then I will go 100% to proteins and veggies. .I think my biggest thing is I need to jump in 100% and just do it. I can’t overthink all the reasons why I am not choosing to jump in 100%. I just need to DO IT!. What is my problem? I can’t even think about it. Just do it. What is stopping me? Not important. Just do it.

Get the idea?

Gaining …and not in a good way

I have put myself in a carb rut. I’m giving in to my cravings of carbs. I am kind of over the sugar rut. I can take it or leave it when it comes to candy. The stronger pull for me is pizza, bread, pasta, rice, and all that “stuff” that makes the carb pile fill up. I have been so successful on veggies and protein and I am getting back to that starting with my next meal. “ Do or not do; there is no try”, said Yoda. He was a smart dude! I used that to stop smoking. I actually did, every day. So being a strong addiction, nicotine took a hike. I can do the same for the bad carbs. The funny thing though, is that food is necessary for life. Nicotine is not. Therefore, I find it so much easier to justify. I need to stop justifying and just stop with these bad carbs. I bet that i will start to drop the weight as soon as carbs exit my routine diet. Let’s find out. I’ll keep you all posted.

I am working out. Kind of. This week, I was sick and out of town and the combination made it hard to get my work out in; I did see my trainer on Friday. I am doing a class on Tuesday at the gym and the commitment feels good. I need to be accountable. I have a trainer session on Friday, so that just leaves one more day to work out on my own, which will be Saturday. And no, I didn’t forget about yoga…Just time to fit it all in!!

More to come….

TRX, treadmills and yoga, oh my!

So, I’m finally getting in the rhythm of a good work out schedule. My trainer gave me a great app that holds me accountable. Or tries to at least! I am trying to work out three to four times a week. Three times a week is much more doable because of my 10 hour shifts at work. I work 4 days, so at least I can carve out time on my days off and maybe get to yoga in the morning of a noon start time at work.

I have a strength endurance day, hypertrophy day, and a stability day…then yoga. I think this week I will be able to get in two days of work out and yoga in between. I am going away Friday morning for a work conference and won’t get my normal Friday and Saturday work outs. With each of these works outs, I have a metabolic conditioning cardio walk on the treadmill. As for the different types of exercise, I am still getting used to the routines and sometimes feel self-conscious completing the exercises at the gym, but feel so good when I am done. I just did tomorrow’s regimen last Friday with my trainer, so I think I feel comfortable with that. The machines come this Thursday for me and that’s my hypertrophy day. I am not quite comfortable with the machines; I think I may be intimidated on them because of all the people working on them that seem to know exactly what they are doing. I guess practice makes perfection. Progress, not perfection….

Then I get yoga this Wednesday! Yay! Yoga at my gym is available for free every day. There are different types of yoga and I am really enjoying Surrender and Root yoga. I am not yet ready for Flow. Flow moves very fast and I am not quite comfy with the different poses and by the time I get the poses nailed, they are moving quickly to the next pose I don’t know very well. With Surrender and Root, I get to hold the poses for a while. I get to be very acquainted with each movement and each breath. It really works my core, my focus, my breathing. I love it. It can be really challenging – yoga almost always pushes me past my comfort level each and every time.

Overall, things are going mostly well at the gym, as you can see. What is lacking in my health journey is my nutrition. I was doing well and then I just got lazy; there is not another good explanation that wouldn’t just sound like the excuse that it s. SO yes, lazy. I want to return to a healthy living style and leave out the carbs and the sugar. Those are my biggest offensive areas of my diet that screw me over every time; Since the spring, I have gained back 18 pounds. I would like to lose them again. You see, I know exactly what I have to do here. It is not rocket science. Veggies and protein have always worked for me with minimal fats and carbs (not totally absent). I need to just cut out sugar and be done with it. No more candy corns, no more gummy bears.

I have a resting metabolic assessment on November 3rd and I’d really like to get some good eating habits in before then that will show up on the assessment. Wish me luck!!

Any comments, advice or ideas? Drop me a line or leave a comment!!

A challenge: I can do it!

My health club is running a 60 day challenge. I joined the club because I wanted to push myself, so it seems obvious that this is the thing to do! I am not sure what exactly is involved, but they seem to be doing free classes to help support growth and learning during this challenge. I am excited to commit myself to more. I need as much accountability as I can handle. Lots of people can do this work out business on their own. Hats off!! I can’t. I love it when I get there, but I need to stay committed. That mostly happens by being ultra accountable in some way to some one or something (a challenge) other than myself. I admit it! I figure that as long as I am doing the work, does it really matter how I get there?

Tomorrow, I go for my weigh in and registration. There are classes offered weekly specifically for the participants of the challenge and I am going to go every Saturday before or after my work out. I will find out more tomorrow. I think I will learn a lot through this process. My goal is to eat better and work out most efficiently. The results will be there if I focus on the journey I think. I am going to try NOT to obsess about the weight and speed at which I lose weight and progress with my work out. It is hard, because I know I want to do the best I can. Without driving myself crazy.

There is a winner (out of all the clubs in the country) and I am thinking that individual is eligible due to the most progress made. My trainer mentioned partly it ties into the individual’s personal story. I don’t have anything particularly earth shattering about my story-it’s pretty average. The contest portion of the challenge certainly gets me going though; I can’t wait to see what it’s all about. Since my trainer is sick today, the substitute happens to be the trainer that will be registering me tomorrow,. I will meet her today at 1:00pm! I hope she works me hard today. I need all the help I can get.

Any words of advice on staying motivated and committed?

Drop a comment or contact me on my contact page.

Have a great weekend readers!!

Back in the fitness game!

I’ve been working on my health plan for weight loss and realized nutrition is a huge part of it, more than I’d like to admit. But eating healthy feels better; Not going to lie: It’s not as much fun sometimes. Saying no to brownies and mostly salty food, like nachos and wings. Smaller numbers on the scale makes it all worth it. I am getting ready to leave the plan that I have been on and go in a different direction. We will see what happens. I failed at the transition plan miserably the first time and gained ten pounds, thinking one brownie or one order of wings wouldn’t matter. They do matter. A lot. I need to be on my game. I felt that to be more on top of things, I would add fitness to the recipe for success.

So after last year of trying a personal trainer, I thought I would try a different approach. A different gym. And wow, is it different! I’d be more likely to call this a health club, not just a gym. The philosophy is different and the fitness coaches/trainers appear to be more educated, or at least mine is. My old trainer was good, don’t get me wrong. This trainer just has a lot more information and education for me. There is so much to know about working out to maximize my metabolism. I went through some metabolic assessments and learned a lot about how my body specifically responds to oxygen demands and how it burns fats v. carbs compared with typical and optimal burn patterns. No doubt, I have put some money into this. It makes me accountable and sometimes I need that, if i am being totally honest. I just can’t always do it without a little kick in the ass. A firm kick in the ass was definitely in order when my trainer asked me how often I plan to work out. Accountability, hello! “Three times a week is something I can commit to” rolled somewhat easily off my tongue. Wow, okay Alyssa. I guess I am working out three times a week. At least I can pick my own days. So we created a program for me which I think will really set me up for success. This is one step further than I took at the other gym; today, I am making a commitment for Tuesday, Friday and Saturday each week. I never committed to specific days last year, just a vague promise of “I”ll be here”. Tuesday will be my recovery day and I will take yoga. It will definitely get my breathing and heart rate in gear, but it won’t be as intense as the metabolic conditioning/strength training that I will be doing the other days. I have a feeling, however, that yoga will be hard work for me. At least in the beginning. It’s been years since I worked on my yoga practice at an actual yoga studio. I have signed up for my first class for this Tuesday evening. It’s great, because they have yoga classes in the morning and evening, so whatever my shift I can get in yoga as their morning class starts at 5:30AM!!

I’m excited to really show my commitment to my trainer and most of all, myself. But I am actually slightly scared. I am in fear of failing. In fear of succeeding. No, not that…definitely a fear of failing. I’ve failed in sticking with a fitness regimen post -training (and all the money that went with that). I want to succeed, both in fitness health (efficiency in oxygen demands and cardiovascular health) as well as in weight loss. Which I guess is another branch of fitness health. Whatever it may be, I want it all.

I’m hoping I can pull off all of it, the healthy eating transition and the fitness plan. I have been definitely giving this all some attention in past posts. Next to blogging, it’s what I want to improve upon the most in my life. That’s basically it, writing and my health are my primary priorities. Sure, I write about relationships, and while that is a goal, maybe I should just focus on the things I am in more control of. Like writing and self-care /self-improvement. I think that will in turn make me relationship ready.

IF you have any tips for the balancing act of healthy eating and healthy fitness, drop me a comment or contact me on my contact page!! Thank you in advance.

Music I’m listening to: a playlist called Sexy. It’s got some really good songs and its great for working out!

Losing it!

I am in transition mode in my weight loss/healthy living program and I am loving it and losing weight at the same time!! I haven’t been perfect, of course. I have had a few cheat days, but mostly i have been on course. I have even lost a few pounds during my maintenance phase. I just watch all my labels and ensure that when I do eat a few more calories, I am cognizant of my choices. I have been exercising more with my puggle Max and we have both been enjoying the longer walks. I can’t lose weight and be in good health just on good diet alone (though that’s a huge thing); I need to work out.

My next step is to get to the gym. When I moved, I drove over to the rec center (when I could have easily walked there) and registered my membership (that comes with my pricy HOA). So, yes, i have been walking more with Max and getting the movement going Now I need to step up my game. Like three steps! I am trying to walk Max at least 1 mile a day three-five days a week. Now, I need to get my fitness plan going at the gym. They have a gym and I am seriously getting motivated. Seriously. Let’s go to the gym. I have my playlist on my iPhone ready to go. What day? How about tomorrow? I know the right answer is “TODAY”, but that’s not going to happen as I have a ton of errands and already walked Max on an extended walk. Why not both you say? That’s a very good question! Like I said , I need to step it up…. I will keep you posted!!