I know I am kinda obsessed about talking about Paris. I mean it, so excited. I can’t wait. Is there any possibility that I am putting off discussing and talking about what my blog is really about, friendships, relationships,etc? That something about being friends with someone important to me and moving on to see if there is someone else that brings me exceptional happiness. My guess, based on my six years of post divorce internet dating, is no.
Through all my experiences with online dating, no one really out there truly available is honest, funny, attractive and intelligent. Sure, these words are pouring all over the profiles. So are the words “looking for relationship”, etc.
In the last week at least, I have found people who state they live in Denver, but they are actually posted overseas for whatever reason for whatever time period. They promise to keep writing back and forth for an indeterminate amount of time. Last time I saw this a year ago, two guys tried to scam me. Of course I got pulled in to emailing them, but once the scam started, I got right out. And of course never heard from them again. The other half of the alleged “relationship seekers” use that as bait and as soon as you sound interested, they start asking about sexual positions and bed size. While a man may feel these are legitimate interview questions, I will maintain that there are other things I’d like to know about a perfect stranger that don’t include their sheet count or how many inches they are blessed or punished with…Jesus, boys. Reign it in a little bit. If you are looking for an actual relationship, these things can come a little later. If you are really about the FWB, it all makes perfect sense. Just be honest…. and this is why I have so much trouble with all this..
I operate on honesty as the highest premise. Sometimes, I don’t like the answer or what is reflected in honesty, but I would take integrity any day of the week. Sometimes knowing something to be true has me thinking about it, obsessed about it and unable to effectively move on. Then I remember, I asked for honesty. And yes, I am blessed when I am gifted with it (even in the dark hours of pretending ignorance is bliss).
I got my Paris Pass yesterday! The more I look at all the travel in central Paris that will be required to visit everywhere I want to go, I realize one thing: I could get seriously lost!! It all looks so easy with color coded Metro stops and maps, so how could I get lost, right??? I’ll find a way to lose sight of the touristy spot I was headed toward. I am sure of it! And it will be an adventure. I am not new to doing things solo. I AM new to doing things in areas I am not 100% confident of where I am going. So breaking out of the comfort zone will be a huge undertaking, but I am so excited. A little nervous, but mostly excited. This is one of the most adventurous things I have planned so far. My last adventure was driving cross-country solo. Twice. Six months apart. And that’s a different story for a different time.
You may think that my blog is about relationships, so why would I start writing about travel. You could be on to something. However, the relationship I have with myself is probably the most important for me right now. If I am ultimately confident with myself (being okay with possibly getting lost in Paris) and feel worthy of spending the money to go all by myself, a boosted self-esteem by the end of my holiday can’t be too far behind, right?
In the meantime, stay posted for my blog posts here in Denver.
These last few weeks have been crazy. I have been sick, working a nine-day stretch, and just generally busy. I prioritized blogging not so high and I am sorry for that. I love being here and talking about what’s going on in my life and sharing any tidbits with you, my readers! I have lots going on and grateful for a full life.
I am still working out and I have a great personal trainer, but time with my PT is going to be done sometime in July (no mas dinero). I need to continue my good food habits (and get wayyyy better) so that I can lose 6 pounds and 2% body fat. That’s my fitness goal in June. I’m getting pushed harder to get past my comfort zone and I am grateful I have someone to help me do that. I need to push myself around the lake doing my cardio/walks. I used to walk about 14-15 minute miles. Now it takes me 16-17 minutes. I’ve definitely lost my groove from last year and I want to get it back. I am going to walk 5.5 miles if it kills me tomorrow before work. I have NO EXCUSE, except the one I make. And that doesn’t count.
It’s good to be back to blogging. I can’t wait to see you all soon!!
I have been a bit out of touch these past two weeks. I am not making excuses, but I am back! I feel that I have let work get the best of me lately. Not the time on the job per se, but more so the energy it drains from me. I am left mentally wasted and unable to get creatively grounded here, where I would rather be! Then there are the workouts…
When I am not working, I am training at the gym with my PT. It seems like between my training/work outs and my job, I have not left any time for blogging and that makes me sad. I need to redistribute my time. I think I need to get back to sticking to a blogging schedule. I used to have more structure and now my structure has been rededicated to working out in the last month, if you haven’t noticed.
I am going to work on getting a schedule for myself. Without that, I end up on the couch with hot air popcorn, watching Mad Men or something.
Have a good weekend and I will be back very soon!
I have taken a week off and it feels so quiet to not be writing. I have also had a lull. I have had a case of writer’s block, or blogger’s block, as the case may be. Then I kept thinking of all these ideas during my attacks of insomnia. I am back!!
I hope no one thought I would be one of those bloggers that has a site up for 3-6 months and then just loses interest. Definitely not the case. I have been doing a lot of work out like posts and that’s because my relationship with myself has been first and foremost in my mind as far as really dedicating myself to self-care. I have some ideas about posts on friendships, because after all, this is a blog about relationships and I want to introduce all types, including the one I have with myself and my female and male friends. I wanted to also post about the importance of our reltatioinships and connections with our pets.
I have also been paying a lot of attention to the music I have been listening to, becoming inspired by those influences s well..
Please leave me a comment if there are any relationships I haven’t mentioned or you would like to hear about.
Music pairing: The music I have been listening during my waking hours the last week or two is from In The Valley Below and their debut album “The Belt”.
After talking about starting a new Throw-back Thursday series, I completely missed the boat on Thursday. For that I apologize! Insert sad and embarrassed emoji here. I will do my best to make this Thursday’s extra fun. Maybe something about the evening I met my boyfriend’s other girlfriend. 1995. There you go!l
I hope your weekend has been good!
I decided that I could not attempt that fiction short story. I can’t seem to write what I don’t know. I can’t seem to stray far from my truth and my experience. So, this brings me to my quandary. I have been working on blogging before moving to writing a memoir.
I have learned invaluable nuggets from blogging and reading about writing. And reading others’ writings. I have learned that some memoirs may be too sensitive to write and particularly to publish. I don’t know much about this as I just started blogging in September. I don’t want to be discouraged by those who say I should fictionalize my memoir, telling me it would sell better and easier. Plus, I wouldn’t have as much to worry about. Is this true? Or am I just following a group of lemmings? I feel that I want to write more than a fictionalized account of my story. If I soften the edges, I feel that I am softening the hard truth which is stranger than fiction anyway. Blunting the damage. I get there could be legal ramifications. I certainly understand I will have people to answer to. While I can wrap my head around all that, I feel unstoppable. Am I being realistic? Unrealistic? Ridiculous? To be told in a book I just bought that if I am a blogger, I am not a writer was discouraging. Is it even true? I don’t even know if I want to finish reading it. I think that right now, I am a novice searching for answers.
SO people: If you are a blogger, but you consider yourself a writer, please let me know being a writer and a blogger is possible. If you are a writer of memoir(s) or fiction novels, please let me know what you think of all my doubt and questioning. I am such a neophyte, humble and ready for comments and feedback. I once got incredible advice from an author of multiple fiction novels. He told me in person not to write for anybody else. Write for me and write the truth. All the time. Thank you for that. I’m a sponge and I’ll soak it all in. Show me what you’ve got. I beg of you!
Music pairing: Hold On & Good Enough by Sarah McLachlan