Treadmill 2.0

So, I haven’t been on my treadmill for months. Four months to be exact. Till about Saturday. I realized after stepping on the scale to see my “biggest number ever” that something was going to have to change. I had knee issues. I used that as an excuse to just stop altogether. Why try when you can just quit?! Well, we know that’s just stupid. But that’s how I regarded my Peloton for months. Now, I had to get it together. I will do anything to never see that number again. Ever.

Because of my knees, I am starting slow. I am going to walk 15 minutes every other day. After one to two weeks, I will work up to 20-25minutes and keep going every two weeks up to 45 minute walks. Then I will add the incline.

My short term goal is to notice some weight loss (my food choices are changing too and that will be another post) in the next month. I hope to keep that going every week. I have gained a lot. My weight loss goal is 45-50 pounds. I will not stoop until I get there. That’s where I was 2-4 years ago when I had lost with another fitness/food plan. I had goals and guidelines in February that I plan to live by.

My long term goal for the Spring of 2021: the Manitou Incline. Readers: I welcome you to take a look at this trail in Colorado. It is not a 14’er, but it is my goal and accomplishing this will make me truly proud.

I’ll keep you all posted!!

Larger than life.

Okay, so I was told, or rather texted that I was the most shallow person ever. That I should be ashamed of myself for how horrible I was for ultimately having to confess I was not attracted to him after meeting him. I thought I could get there (attraction), but I just could not.

Let’s back up a second. I guess I should begin at the beginning. We didn’t talk that long before we met, but our first night of talking was a marathon. Yes, a marathon of 5.5 hours. Jesus. I was attracted to his face. I asked for more pics because well, I needed to get the full picture! He warned me that he had back surgery almost 2 years ago and had gained some weight then got sick, so his weight loss has not really taken off. He sent me some vague pics, but they didn’t seem so bad. So bad is an understatement. I agreed to visit him in the Springs. So we decided on last Tuesday. I was pretty excited, because our conversations have been great and we were looking for the same things; I didn’t see anything that could go wrong, except physical attraction and I was hoping I would not be disappointed.

I got to his house. I knocked on the door. It was kind of downhill from there. He warned me his house was going to be a mess because he had been sick a few weeks ago and had not cleaned his kitchen yet (even though he was sick weeks ago and fine now). And while his kitchen was fairly atrocious with dishes everywhere and crap food sitting on the counter tops (does he even eat healthfully?), the biggest issue was staring back right at me. He was much bigger than he led me to believe. His photos that he sent to me were very vague and hid a lot, as it turned out. My face didn’t lie. Apparently, he could tell right away that I was taken aback by his appearance. I know this is downright horrible, but I feel this is misleading advertising. I feel that while beauty is skin deep (I really do), physical attraction is a huge part to a spark.

I know I need to lose weight too, so this is the part that is so hard. I had full pics on my profile though from the last few months. So we talked about it …the weight. We talked about weight being temporary and how we can both lose weight; I just couldn’t keep the disappointment off my face. I wasn’t convinced, but I was trying to rationalize my long trip down to the Springs and my investment in this very short lived relationship. We came to the conclusion that we would try to lose weight together. So I felt that would satisfy me for a while. I spent the night with him, which was a huge mistake. Huge mistake. It just brought the fact home that I absolutely COULD NOT do this. I didn’t sleep at all that night. I don’t know if it was the strange bed, the strange man, or simply the size of the man sleeping next to me. I couldn’t wait to get out of there in the morning.

The next day, I barely texted; he asked me what was up and I said all was fine, but I was busy working. The truth. And not the truth. Yes, I was on the clock, but that never stopped me from spending time texting with him through out the day. He could tell there was something different. When he asked me what was going on, I was vague. I was kind. I didn’t see the need to be blunt, but in all honesty that was at the recommendation of my good friend. I really just wanted to be done with it. He pressured me and dug for answers. He told me to not give him riddles.. Tell him like it is. So I told him there was no sexual chemistry for me; I was not physically attracted to him. It was then I got the text. The horrifying text that I was indeed shallow. I was awful and should be ashamed of myself. This was the shittiest thing that ever happened to him. I apologized. He said to stop messaging him. So I stopped. But I couldn’t stop thinking how I made him feel. Even though he sent me misleading photos. Even though I invested a lot of time into the beginning of this relationship.

That would be great if that was the end of the story, but its not. It’s not a good story without a little irony thrown in for good measure. So a few days after he told me I was extremely (he used a different word) shallow, I stepped on the scale.

I weighed more than I have ever weighed in my life. Ever.

Music I am listening to: Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morissette (think Ironic).

Stay tuned: I am now embarking on a new journey toward weight loss and fitness reminiscent of the others I have blogged about, but more permanent.

I am back!!

Hey everyone!!

I have no good excuse for not writing since Covid -19 hit us hard. I really don’t know what happened; you would think Denver’s Shelter In Place period would have been the perfect time to really catch up on writing as there was nothing else to do. Even when things opened up a bit, I should have opened up and started writing again. I am not sure what happened, but I have some ideas. And I want to share them as I start to explore more about myself and what’s keeping me from my ultimate personal success (relationships, fitness, work, etc)….

I deal with anxiety and insomnia on a fairly regular basis. Covid -19 made writing and being physically and mentally healthy much more difficult for me. It became almost impossible for me to find the creative energy to blog and then soon after writer’s block set in. Nothing bad happened to me; I never got really sick, but I did have some preliminary symptoms and got tested (negative).

I have been out and about and continuing to gain some bizarre experiences in the dating world. I have some stories to tell, but I have to play catch up first and bring you all up to date.

First of all, I sold the place I lived in suburbia; that was a sociological experiment gone wrong; I felt so out of place amongst the families and the chit chat that goes with being married with kids. I belong in the city. I moved back into Denver in the summer and I am so happy! Secondly, one of my closest friends is my roommate and we are having fun. I am settled, along with my two pups. I need to start blogging again (this is a good start) and exercising.

Between me and some good friends, I have experienced and heard some dating misadventures and I will be sharing those stories soon with you all. I am also going to restart my journey toward good health and fitness. Physical health also took a huge hiatus when I moved.

So, hang tight people, because I have finally emerged from my hiatus and I have plenty to share.

Just do it 2

I am really struggling. What is my problem!? I want to join the ranks of healthy and fit minded people. I want to balk at burgers, pizza, and nachos. What is making me instead, whole heartedly magnetized to these foods? Is it emotional eating? I don’t think so? But how do I know? I don’t feel especially more satisfied after eating crap food, so why do I still eat it?  I have done the committed diet lifestyle before. Twice!

I think sometimes I am just not ready. Then I think, “that’s not true!”… I want to change, lose weight, lose the desire for poor choices.  Right now I just finished a low calorie snack that is part of a lifestyle change…and an unsweetened iced tea (no calories) and feel great. Every time I make good choices, I feel great. This is a no brainer, right? Right. Now I just have to shift my choices.  Protein and veggies (French fries don’t count) for me!  Once I lose the weight, all the abdominal and strength training work I am doing with my personal trainer will show through, given that I am still working out.

On a positive note, I am getting exercise in mostly every week. A nice walk, dancing at the club (don’t laugh-I burned about 500 calories Friday night!), walking around huge convention centers (another 350 calories)…. I also am wrapping up my personal training this month. I am starting Pilates and super excited about that. I will be committing to that three times a week.  For the weeks that personal training and Pilates over lap, I will be doing them both on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Yay me! I am looking forward to making a difference with my new Pilates body, but I said that with personal training. That’s where nutrition and good food choices come in.

Here I go!

If any one has ideas on how to get motivated, I will certainly invite them. Intellectually I know this comes from within, but inspiration is always invited!!

 

 

Gaining …and not in a good way

I have put myself in a carb rut. I’m giving in to my cravings of carbs. I am kind of over the sugar rut. I can take it or leave it when it comes to candy. The stronger pull for me is pizza, bread, pasta, rice, and all that “stuff” that makes the carb pile fill up. I have been so successful on veggies and protein and I am getting back to that starting with my next meal. “ Do or not do; there is no try”, said Yoda.  He was a smart dude! I used that to stop smoking. I actually did, every day. So being a strong addiction, nicotine took a hike. I can do the same for the bad carbs. The funny thing though, is that food is necessary for life. Nicotine is not. Therefore, I find it so much easier to justify. I need to stop justifying and just stop with these bad carbs.  I bet that i will start to drop the weight as soon as carbs exit my routine diet. Let’s find out. I’ll keep you all posted.

I am working out. Kind of. This week, I was sick and out of town and the combination made it hard to get my work out in; I did see my trainer on Friday. I am doing a class on Tuesday at the gym and the commitment feels good. I need to be accountable. I have a trainer session on Friday, so that just leaves one more day to work out on my own, which will be Saturday.  And no, I didn’t forget about yoga…Just time to fit it all in!!

More to come….

Getting off track!

So I have been good with working out. Honest! Then I went out of town toward end of August and then right after Labor Day. Made it pretty easy to get off course. I am not happy about that. The good thing is that I exercised a lot during both vacations! I did plenty of water aerobics in California (I can’t believe I did water aerobics!) and a plethora of walking around Nashville! I loved both vacations, but it is time to get with the program!

My new schedule is Sunday, Wednesday & Friday. Sunday I closed my exercise ring on my exercise app on my phone. If you work out and own an iPhone, you probably know what I am talking about. Almost every other day in Nashville I came very close to closing that red ring and I am pleased (considering I didn’t get my normal workout in). One of those days will be a recovery day for yoga.  The other days will be strength/resistance/weight with Metabolic Conditioning in my Cardio work out. It will be good to get back to my normal routine. And I am a creature of habit….so routine is good!

 

Let’s start this work out tomorrow!! Time for toning, weight loss and heart pumping…and most of all, feeling great!!

 

Back in the fitness game!

I’ve been working on my health plan for weight loss and realized nutrition is a huge part of it, more than I’d like to admit. But eating healthy feels better; Not going to lie: It’s not as much fun sometimes. Saying no to brownies and mostly salty food, like nachos and wings.  Smaller numbers on the  scale makes it all worth it. I am getting ready to leave the plan that I have been on and go in a different direction. We will see what happens. I failed at the transition plan miserably the first time and gained ten pounds, thinking one brownie or one order of wings wouldn’t matter. They do matter. A lot. I need to be on my game.  I felt that to be more on top of things, I would add fitness to the recipe for success.

So after last year of trying a personal trainer, I thought I would try a different approach. A different gym. And wow, is it different! I’d be more likely to call this a health club, not just a gym.  The philosophy is different and the fitness coaches/trainers appear to be more educated, or at least mine is. My old trainer was good, don’t get me wrong. This trainer just has a lot more information and education for me. There is so much to know about working out to maximize my metabolism. I went through some metabolic assessments and learned a lot about how my body specifically responds to oxygen demands and how it burns fats v. carbs compared with  typical and optimal burn patterns. No doubt, I have put some money into this. It makes me accountable and sometimes I need that, if i am being totally honest. I just can’t always do it without a little kick in the ass.  A firm kick in the ass was definitely in order when my trainer asked me how often I plan to work out. Accountability, hello!  “Three times a week is something I can commit to” rolled somewhat easily off my tongue. Wow, okay Alyssa.  I guess I am working out three times  a week. At least I can pick my own days. So we created a program for me which I think will really set me up for success. This is one step further than I took at the other gym; today,  I am making a commitment for Tuesday, Friday and Saturday each week. I never committed to specific days last year,  just a vague promise of “I”ll be here”. Tuesday will be my recovery day and I will take yoga. It will definitely get my breathing and heart rate in gear, but it won’t  be as intense as the metabolic conditioning/strength training that I will be doing the other days.  I have a feeling, however, that yoga will be hard work for me. At least in the beginning. It’s been years since I worked on my yoga practice at an actual yoga studio. I have signed up for my first class for this Tuesday evening. It’s great, because they have yoga classes in the morning and evening, so whatever my shift I can get in yoga as their morning class starts at 5:30AM!!

I’m excited to really show my commitment to my trainer and most of all, myself.  But I am actually slightly scared. I am in fear of failing. In fear of succeeding. No, not that…definitely a fear of failing. I’ve failed in sticking with a fitness regimen post -training (and all the money that went with that). I want to succeed, both in fitness health (efficiency in oxygen demands and cardiovascular health) as well as in weight loss. Which I guess is another branch of fitness health. Whatever it may be, I want it all.

I’m hoping I can pull off all of it, the healthy eating transition and the fitness plan.  I have been definitely giving this all some attention in past posts. Next to blogging, it’s what I want to improve upon the most in my life. That’s basically it, writing and my health are my primary priorities. Sure, I write about relationships, and while that is a goal, maybe I should just focus on the things I am in more control of. Like writing and self-care /self-improvement. I think that will in turn make me relationship ready.

IF you have any tips for the balancing act of healthy eating and healthy fitness, drop me a comment or contact me on my contact page!! Thank you in advance.

Music I’m listening to: a playlist called Sexy. It’s got some really good songs and its great for working out!

Forever. And a day.

WOW! I had no clue I abandoned my post, literally, for about three months. I am so sorry!

The good news is that I have been so busy with life and fitness with my optimal health plan, that my  short term fitness,  life goals and outcomes have been favorable!

1. EXERCISE: What a great thing to do! I am improving in this department. My healthy living (with a side of weight loss) program discouraged too much exercise when I was going through such a radical calorie reduction. I soon understood why. Now, in transition, I am getting back to the exercising/walking, both outside and on the treadmill. I am excited to get physically fit in shape in time for warm weather fun in the mountains!

2. LOST OVER 25 POUNDS: This was an amazing feat! I gained so much weight in the last 2 years since losing weight in 2016. WHY?! How did  I let that happen? I can tell you exactly what happened. Maybe this has happened to you. I did not transition into a way of healthy living. I did not set myself up for healthy maintenance eating and healthful and wise choices.  I  have now lost weight and looking to lose about 10 more.  Most importantly, I am learning how to live with daily healthy living with a slight bent toward losing a bit more weight. Once I get to my desired weight, I will admit that the healthy living will be a challenge. I want the healthy living and most of the time, its not that hard. But sometimes….. yes, sometimes I am craving nachos and nerds or gummy bears. I am not going to lie. I want to stay in this weight loss mode until I am secure in my healthy choices and know I am not going to yo-yo back to this weight from December.

3. NO MORE DATING ONLINE (doing something else that I will delve into a little later for all your curious people)….yay! I have joined more of a matchmaking thing. I guess we still have to put ourselves out there. This time, it seems different. It involves more work, but the outcome hopefully includes some more quality. With those free online sites, you get what you don’t pay for! You know what I am talking about: Plenty of Fish, Bumble, Tinder…the list goes on.  It’s also dramatically different because instead of getting into the time suck of these dating sites (yes, plural), I can live life and blog more, work more, and exercise more. I can check in on line with this different singles group after selecting certain people.  We’ll see how this goes. I don’t officially start being eligible online till after I finish my profile. Who knows that this singles group will bring!

4. BOUGHT A TOWNOUSE!! Okay, how did this just happen in three months? I wasn’t even looking for a place. The truth is I wasn’t looking at all. I went to an open house one weekend with a friend. I fell in love with the townhouse I saw. I called over my future realtor and talked to a lending officer right then and there. She was at the open house.  The unexpected and rare thing happened: a domino effect of contractual agreements just fell into place.  From the date the offer was accepted and the contract signed, I closed on my townhouse 30 days later. I had no clue  my life would change this much this soon or how much my life would change. I think part of this is because I am moving to the suburbs from the city. It’s going to be a big change; but I think I am ready.

Yes, I have done this all since my last post in December! Things have been crazy and overwhelming, but reassuring that I have been making progress in positive life changes.

I think with these new changes (and being house rich cash poor I am sure), I will be blogging a lot more and sharing my dating experiences once again. And this time, in the middle of suburbia. Dating in suburbia. I see that being one of my future posts.

Stay tuned!

Letting go

I am very excited about my new exercise and diet plan. In my first week, I lost 5.9 pounds and 5”.  I am positive I measured wrong because how can you lose just 5.9 pounds and that many inches?  I will see next week.  This is very encouraging! Yay me!   I will make sure I measure accurately next Saturday. I am dedicating to losing this 40 pounds and I think an important part is exercise.

I am concentrating on cardio this time! I doubt I’ll be building muscle (on the nautilus type machines)  that is remotely measurable, but I don’t want to chance it while I am measuring  my lost inches of fat!! I have been using the bike to warm up for about 15 minutes, then stretch my warmed up muscles…then off to 30 minutes of cardio before I hit the mat for abdominal exercises. For the 30 minutes of cardio, I use the elliptical machine for 10 minutes, walking on the treadmill for another 10 and finish back up on the bike for my last 10 minutes.  My challenge now is a commitment to push myself on each one, greater incline, faster speed.   I am getting there! My next work out is on Monday morning!

Tell me what you do to exercise now that it’s getting colder outside! Does that stop you?

See you here soon!

Sorry (again) for the radio silence…

It’s been a busy month. That’s no excuse for a blogger, I know! While I still think of Paris all the time, and I know I am not done with Paris quite yet, it has to take a place in the rear view mirror while I move forward with some life choices in both my work and  personal lives.  I am very comfortable at work, but I am thinking of making a career change. I wish I could devote all my time to blogging and I could write all the time, but alas, it’s not in my financial future.  What I can take action steps in is recreating my resume and educating myself in new ventures. Enough  of the boring work talk….let’s talk self-care.

I have been very skinny my whole life. That is, until the last few years. In the last 5-7 years, to be exact,  Then the pounds came on. I used to eat with absolute impunity.  Now, I gain weight eyeing the cinnamon roll! What happened??  All I know is that my body is changing and I need to take control. I was successful in 2016 and lost 30 pounds. Yeah me! Except, I got lazy and lost my groove. And this time, I gained back all of it and more; that’s right! I gained 40 pounds back.  Now a friend has turned me on to on new lifestyle program that includes weight loss and my goal is 40 pounds.  When I reach that, I will do what I need to so I can keep the weight off and continue to make healthy choices.

This all sounds fantastic in a great ideal world, but its going to be a challenge for me. I love steak and potatoes and BREAD. Yes, lots of bread. I can still have a lean steak with broccoli or asparagus and a nice salad. With dressing even….but it has to be approved by the program. I am really going to miss my carbs in the form of buns, pizza, cookies, doughnuts.. You name it, I will miss it.

But what if I could rearrange my paradigm of health and didn’t have to miss those things? I think that’s what I am going to discover with this plan. I am only on day #3. Three days in, lots can look good! Let’s see what happens.

PS: Next time, we will talk about exercise and diet!