diet – Brilliant Distraction

Why so long???

I ask myself this….. why haven’t I posted in so long? I could say that I have been busy, but everyone is busy….excuses, excuses… Is it because I am afraid of getting stalked a little and my voice is self-censored because I don’t want to deal with that? Maybe. Is it because I don’t have anything to say right now? I don’t think so, I am always thinking of things to blog about at the most inopportune time.

I changed gyms and getting regular with a gym that I love; the problem has been food. Food gets in the way and we know you can’t outrun a bad diet. Not that I run….of course not, but you know what I mean. Over all, I have been better, but as I type, I am sipping on a calorie free iced tea paired with a polycaloric croissant. Why do I do this to myself? I have eaten slightly less sugary crap. Though, when that Cinnabon store opens at the mall, I will be in trouble.

What I need to do is carve out time for meal prep like I used to do. I prepared the week by making chicken on one day and a big salad and eating that during the week, This is what I need to be doing. I will blog more. And more often. That is my promise to you!

Till then….

Treadmill 2.0

So, I haven’t been on my treadmill for months. Four months to be exact. Till about Saturday. I realized after stepping on the scale to see my “biggest number ever” that something was going to have to change. I had knee issues. I used that as an excuse to just stop altogether. Why try when you can just quit?! Well, we know that’s just stupid. But that’s how I regarded my Peloton for months. Now, I had to get it together. I will do anything to never see that number again. Ever.

Because of my knees, I am starting slow. I am going to walk 15 minutes every other day. After one to two weeks, I will work up to 20-25minutes and keep going every two weeks up to 45 minute walks. Then I will add the incline.

My short term goal is to notice some weight loss (my food choices are changing too and that will be another post) in the next month. I hope to keep that going every week. I have gained a lot. My weight loss goal is 45-50 pounds. I will not stoop until I get there. That’s where I was 2-4 years ago when I had lost with another fitness/food plan. I had goals and guidelines in February that I plan to live by.

My long term goal for the Spring of 2021: the Manitou Incline. Readers: I welcome you to take a look at this trail in Colorado. It is not a 14’er, but it is my goal and accomplishing this will make me truly proud.

I’ll keep you all posted!!

Larger than life.

Okay, so I was told, or rather texted that I was the most shallow person ever. That I should be ashamed of myself for how horrible I was for ultimately having to confess I was not attracted to him after meeting him. I thought I could get there (attraction), but I just could not.

Let’s back up a second. I guess I should begin at the beginning. We didn’t talk that long before we met, but our first night of talking was a marathon. Yes, a marathon of 5.5 hours. Jesus. I was attracted to his face. I asked for more pics because well, I needed to get the full picture! He warned me that he had back surgery almost 2 years ago and had gained some weight then got sick, so his weight loss has not really taken off. He sent me some vague pics, but they didn’t seem so bad. So bad is an understatement. I agreed to visit him in the Springs. So we decided on last Tuesday. I was pretty excited, because our conversations have been great and we were looking for the same things; I didn’t see anything that could go wrong, except physical attraction and I was hoping I would not be disappointed.

I got to his house. I knocked on the door. It was kind of downhill from there. He warned me his house was going to be a mess because he had been sick a few weeks ago and had not cleaned his kitchen yet (even though he was sick weeks ago and fine now). And while his kitchen was fairly atrocious with dishes everywhere and crap food sitting on the counter tops (does he even eat healthfully?), the biggest issue was staring back right at me. He was much bigger than he led me to believe. His photos that he sent to me were very vague and hid a lot, as it turned out. My face didn’t lie. Apparently, he could tell right away that I was taken aback by his appearance. I know this is downright horrible, but I feel this is misleading advertising. I feel that while beauty is skin deep (I really do), physical attraction is a huge part to a spark.

I know I need to lose weight too, so this is the part that is so hard. I had full pics on my profile though from the last few months. So we talked about it …the weight. We talked about weight being temporary and how we can both lose weight; I just couldn’t keep the disappointment off my face. I wasn’t convinced, but I was trying to rationalize my long trip down to the Springs and my investment in this very short lived relationship. We came to the conclusion that we would try to lose weight together. So I felt that would satisfy me for a while. I spent the night with him, which was a huge mistake. Huge mistake. It just brought the fact home that I absolutely COULD NOT do this. I didn’t sleep at all that night. I don’t know if it was the strange bed, the strange man, or simply the size of the man sleeping next to me. I couldn’t wait to get out of there in the morning.

The next day, I barely texted; he asked me what was up and I said all was fine, but I was busy working. The truth. And not the truth. Yes, I was on the clock, but that never stopped me from spending time texting with him through out the day. He could tell there was something different. When he asked me what was going on, I was vague. I was kind. I didn’t see the need to be blunt, but in all honesty that was at the recommendation of my good friend. I really just wanted to be done with it. He pressured me and dug for answers. He told me to not give him riddles.. Tell him like it is. So I told him there was no sexual chemistry for me; I was not physically attracted to him. It was then I got the text. The horrifying text that I was indeed shallow. I was awful and should be ashamed of myself. This was the shittiest thing that ever happened to him. I apologized. He said to stop messaging him. So I stopped. But I couldn’t stop thinking how I made him feel. Even though he sent me misleading photos. Even though I invested a lot of time into the beginning of this relationship.

That would be great if that was the end of the story, but its not. It’s not a good story without a little irony thrown in for good measure. So a few days after he told me I was extremely (he used a different word) shallow, I stepped on the scale.

I weighed more than I have ever weighed in my life. Ever.

Music I am listening to: Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morissette (think Ironic).

Stay tuned: I am now embarking on a new journey toward weight loss and fitness reminiscent of the others I have blogged about, but more permanent.

Just do it.

I have been in such a stagnant mess about my nutrition. I don’t know what it is, but I am half-assed about my diet plan and eating lifestyle. I think I want to eat well; I even try on many occasions by grabbing one of my fueling on this lifestyle plan I am on. But it is NOT working. I end up going out and being half-assed: eating a big cheeseburger with out the bun and salad on the side instead of fries. Healthy-ish at best. It would be best to get a salad with grilled protein. Taco salads are not real salads either when you consider the sour cream and cheese. Or Chipotle for the same reason, even when I go with out the tortilla and with black beans and brown rice. First of all, I need to lose the rice. And the cheese and sour cream. What am I talking about? I need to just not walk into Chipotle. Nothing personal Chipotle, but you are not healthy eating for me. I am doing okay on the fitness part of weight loss, but the nutrition is so difficult right now for me. Weight loss is mostly about nutrition. Once I lose this weight, my awesome core from my good fitness practice will show through!

I need to just stick with proteins and veggies. That’s really it. I lost 32 pounds this way. I am going to use the rest of my fuelings from this diet/lifestyle plan I started again (I had lost some weight temporarily with the plan in the beginning of 2018 or end of 2017 I think). Then I will go 100% to proteins and veggies. .I think my biggest thing is I need to jump in 100% and just do it. I can’t overthink all the reasons why I am not choosing to jump in 100%. I just need to DO IT!. What is my problem? I can’t even think about it. Just do it. What is stopping me? Not important. Just do it.

Get the idea?

Gaining …and not in a good way

I have put myself in a carb rut. I’m giving in to my cravings of carbs. I am kind of over the sugar rut. I can take it or leave it when it comes to candy. The stronger pull for me is pizza, bread, pasta, rice, and all that “stuff” that makes the carb pile fill up. I have been so successful on veggies and protein and I am getting back to that starting with my next meal. “ Do or not do; there is no try”, said Yoda. He was a smart dude! I used that to stop smoking. I actually did, every day. So being a strong addiction, nicotine took a hike. I can do the same for the bad carbs. The funny thing though, is that food is necessary for life. Nicotine is not. Therefore, I find it so much easier to justify. I need to stop justifying and just stop with these bad carbs. I bet that i will start to drop the weight as soon as carbs exit my routine diet. Let’s find out. I’ll keep you all posted.

I am working out. Kind of. This week, I was sick and out of town and the combination made it hard to get my work out in; I did see my trainer on Friday. I am doing a class on Tuesday at the gym and the commitment feels good. I need to be accountable. I have a trainer session on Friday, so that just leaves one more day to work out on my own, which will be Saturday. And no, I didn’t forget about yoga…Just time to fit it all in!!

More to come….

Fitness, diet & optimal health in 2018

I am on my way to a more healthy way of living. My fitness regimen, admittingly, has been a bit lax. I will make an affirmation: I am kicking my workouts into high gear after these first three weeks of resetting my body’s response to this new diet program. I am totally excited!

I have already lost 9.2 pounds in two weeks. I think the weight loss will start to slow down, but I think I am on my way to meeting my goal of 40 pounds by May 1, 2018! I have been relatively happy with 2017. EXCEPT my weight, which was more than steadily creeping up and up until almost 3 weeks ago. Now, I have a new beginning! I know what you may be thinking…isn’t it hard to start in the middle of the holidays with all the food and drink? Well, I say to that: what better time? I would just be gaining more weight than usual during this period and I wanted to lose rather than gain. If I can lose weight during the holidays amongst a great amount of edible temptation, the rest of the year will be cake! But I won’t eat the cake. I promise!

Once my body has adjusted to these new low calorie intakes, I will go back to my work outs. My cardio/fitness exercise is very important to me and I don’t want to let it go. It was suggested that I may take a small break from it while my body is getting used to the new calorie intake. I am glad I took a break, but I am ready for a good work out!!

As for optimal health, I hope to reap the benefits of good sleep, meditation (that will be a challenge), eating healthy, and making emotionally healthy choices. This program is designed to help me lead a life that will work not only on the diet plan for weight loss, but in a maintenance state as well. I think, no, I know that was my absolute downfall during my last diet and significant weight loss. I went back slowly to eating what ever I wanted and didn’t really exercise. I drank more alcohol regularly (never caring or counting those empty calories!!) and as a result, I ate more crap. This is the time for an overhaul.

I am going home (back East will always be home in a sense) at the end of May. As May 1 is my target date, I should be in great shape when I head home to see family.

A note about relationships. I usually write a bit about that and I am NOT taking a break. I just haven’t met anyone worthy of spending time with. I will keep you posted!!

Letting go

I am very excited about my new exercise and diet plan. In my first week, I lost 5.9 pounds and 5”. I am positive I measured wrong because how can you lose just 5.9 pounds and that many inches? I will see next week. This is very encouraging! Yay me! I will make sure I measure accurately next Saturday. I am dedicating to losing this 40 pounds and I think an important part is exercise.

I am concentrating on cardio this time! I doubt I’ll be building muscle (on the nautilus type machines) that is remotely measurable, but I don’t want to chance it while I am measuring my lost inches of fat!! I have been using the bike to warm up for about 15 minutes, then stretch my warmed up muscles…then off to 30 minutes of cardio before I hit the mat for abdominal exercises. For the 30 minutes of cardio, I use the elliptical machine for 10 minutes, walking on the treadmill for another 10 and finish back up on the bike for my last 10 minutes. My challenge now is a commitment to push myself on each one, greater incline, faster speed. I am getting there! My next work out is on Monday morning!

Tell me what you do to exercise now that it’s getting colder outside! Does that stop you?

See you here soon!

Feats and frustrations

I want it now. I’m working hard to accomplish my goals. So where’s the pay off? I mean, I’ve been at it for a solid week and a half and NOTHING to show for it. I have to say the frustration of not having the pay off by now has me infinitely irritated. I’m kinda pissed. Like really pissed that my hard-working isn’t leaving anything behind. Like globs of fat. And laziness. And crap food. Now I know in order to get the body I want (the flattest stomach ever and no visible cellulite), I simply can’t expect it now. It’s going to take time and effort. Definitely more than 1.5 weeks of working my body hard, but slightly less focused on my daily nutritional intake. That part sucks. I have been improving, but then I ordered Italian food for delivery tonight. How am I supposed to get it now, when all I am ordering now is baked ziti and garlic knots? It’s going to take a dietary overhaul and this kick ass work out at the gym. Its going to take both in big doses. Wanting it all now is going to have to wait for later.

In the midst of my frustrations and hard work, there are the (not so) small accomplishments. The little feats that make up my personal best to date in my recent experience. They make it ALL worth it. I honestly had no earthly idea that I could row or really do anything remotely athletic. Sure, it’s a rowing machine. Sure, it’s a contrived experience in a gym. But, I am rowing! I am doing these 2 minute cardio bursts and going to out-distance myself each time. The first few times, I rowed 250 meters in 2 minutes. Yesterday, I beat my personal best with my trainer and rowed about 410 meters in 2 minutes. I guess this is meaningless unless you’ve rowed (in real life or the gym). And I am guessing my personal best only applies to the gym version of rowing. I don’t care. And this is why. Its my personal best on this machine. It is the most athletic thing I have ever done in my life.If you went to school with me, you knew I was far from sports-minded. You chose me last for kickball and that’s okay today. Because tomorrow I am headed for the gym to beat my personal best. And that’s all that matters.

When I say I exercise, I want to mean it

I started an incredible diet last year. Right around this time as a matter of fact. I lost 30 pounds. I was serious. For many months. Around the holidays, I denied that I was being sucked in by the whole food thing. I can’t deny it anymore. I hate that I have gained some of the weight back. The good thing is how quickly my body made me aware of it. I got headaches when I splurged on my Valentine’s conversation hearts (you know the ones that taste like chalk? Yeah, I am pretty much addicted to them). I felt like crap after the recent doses of fast food. Thank you body for doing me right. For giving me a signal. The cool thing is I did so much good last year, that I only lost two months really, December and January. Interesting how fast weight can come back and bite you in the ass. I think I have gained at least 10 pounds and I will lose it. Back to the 5 mile walks and the grilled chicken. At least my dinners are still healthy. I make the time to ensure my dinners are not crap. It’s the day at work sitting at a cubicle that gets to me. I need to get back to my carrots and mustard dip and cucumbers. Back to early morning protein shakes. Bye bye Moe’s bagels. You were so yummy, but oh so naughty with your carbs and more carbs. Hasta la vista bagel!

So today, I rededicate my exercise initiative. There is no time like the present. I am not needing to start at square one again, but I just need to get back on the lake path at my complex. I will be reasonable. I will not expect 14 minute mile walks. I will be happy with 15-16 minute miles. For a week. Then I will step it up.

As far as food and diet, I have been faithful to my nutritional needs and diet in the evenings, but its the day at work I am struggling with at the moment. Along with the bagels, the Doritos and the conversation hearts, the diet soda must go as well.

Ready.Set.Go!

See you on the track!