I’m not Samantha

I tried. I wanted a light and airy summer and I have had a nice summer. So far. But the light and airy part were the guys are concerned has been a little disappointing. I am thinking there are two reasons for this. First, the online dating thing does not work for innocent and good clean fun.  After you post on your profile you are not looking for anything serious, it is assumed by a great majority of men that you are looking for a hook up. There appears to be no middle ground. No dating, not meet ups or even a cocktail to see if there is some viable chemistry.  I am kind of incredulous that they actually expect to show up at your door and as one Aussie described “just kinda get right into it”. WTF?!  Not only is this horribly disrespectful for all parties involved, it is ludicrous in the safety department. Who actually thinks a woman is going to travel to a hotel room? With out even meeting for a drink or a cocktail (much less a few dates)? These guys think they just need your address for a good time right off the internet, without so much as a date, phone call, or even a text with an updated picture to ensure you’re not inviting someone on a date who is NOT the person you’ve been communicating with for any amount of time? This is craziness. I can ONLY surmise that guys try and succeed with this full throttle mission is because it actually works. If this is the case, as insane as it sounds, I would love to give these women a pep talk in safety online.  I don’t know if they are naive, lonely, or merely stupid?  What is going on today? I have tried, but just recently  realized a whole month  of exploring the light and airy option,  it simply won’t work for me. And that’s the second reason this ‘light and airy’ summer wasn’t going to work. I am just not set up that way.

I’m not Samantha. I can’t just meet guys and sleep with them. I can’t just have meaningless fun relationships (if you can call them that). I didn’t really try hard because I could not take these guys seriously. I tried to have fun with it, but it just seemed (to me) to be lonely and dangerous. I couldn’t partake. Instead, I learned a lesson that I am pretty sure I already knew. I don’t do one night stands and I prefer romance. That’s it. I need a real relationship. Not multiple. Just one real significant relationship that includes communication, respect, autonomy and teamwork all at the same time. I guess I am more of a Carrie and way less Samantha.

So, I joined a dating service that is a major investment, but its a matchmaking service that doesn’t work on algorithms and searches of empty and possibly fake profiles.  I already have a date for Tuesday, so I am pretty excited!

Stay Tuned!!

Author: Alyssa

I blog on brilliantdistraction.com about relationships, friendships, and the art of genuine integrity and character! Come visit me! View all posts by Alyssa