Douchebag #3: Me, my son and you…

I thought I have seen quite a lot of scenarios in the Internet dating world. I had seen all sorts: polyamorous, open relationships, long distance,  (way) younger guys and cougar-dom,  whatever. I even came across a guy that wanted to look and not touch; that guy wanted a woman to travel to southern California about 1-3 times a month at his expense. The woman would be sexy and just sit for him while he did nothing, but perhaps contemplate the woman he could never attain. He stated he had a bad experience not being able to attain a woman on a beach when he was young. He felt invisible and undesired. He is now seeking that type woman to sit for him so he can relive the memory of rejection.

Yes, there is a woman for everyone out there. I guess. No judgment. This time it was different. That was intriguing, but I couldn’t bring my self to respond to that man’s requests to sit still for him.   What I am about to share with you is something new for me, even with that experience of sitting  pretty for someone who wants to feel rejected all over again.

I saw a cute guy online, POF to be exact. I even sent an email to see what would come back. He sent a message back pretty quickly.  Almost too quickly. He complimented my profile pictures. Probably didn’t read the text at all. Nothing new. I just politely returned the message and asked how he was doing. He shoots back a message just as rapidly. “Are you open-minded?”…..Sometimes. He texts back that he wants someone open minded and does want to find someone to marry. I asked him what he had in mind as i am admittedly open minded about some things, not about others. Like drugs, excessive alcohol use, or criminal activity in past or present. Ever.  So he states that’s fine because what he has in mind is a bit different.

I can not remember the exact words, but he said something like this: “I would like you to help my son. He was recently dumped by his girlfriend for not being able to please him. Would you show him everything about pleasing a woman? And you would be with me also. Not always at the same time. But sometimes. Sometimes just him. Sometimes just me and other times, both of us”.
Whoa!! WTF? I was quite horrified just then. I had NEVER come across this in my life.  I honestly just wanted to hit the BLOCK button. Something, however, told me this could be a bloggable moment.  I would never consider this, not even for a nanosecond. As a bloggable moment, priceless. I pretended to be intrigued. So I engaged.

“Wow! I am intrigued! Tell me more. You said he is how old?’ Jesus …not a minor please.
“Oh he’s 20 years old. See him in the picture?”. Yeah. I did. He looks about 12.
He went on to explain how this would be totally worth it as they are so well-endowed. Oh My God. This is an OMG moment for sure. I am positive this qualifies.
“I am definitely intrigued…so you said you wanted to get married. How would that work with your son? This would all stop if  we got married, right? We should meet in person with your son to talk more.” ….I intended to do nothing of the sort.
“Oh no. That would not stop at all. Its much more naughty when he’s your step son”. Holy shit. This had to be a joke. Or the “to catch a predator” people will be hunting me by the time I get ready for bed.  So 15 minutes go by with no response. I asked him if this was a  test or if he changed his mind. 10 minutes later he delete this profile and no record of any emails or any profile remains.

Ha! The joke could be on me. Or not. Hard to know. No one has been knocking down my door to raid my Internet history yet.l
Be careful out there!
And yes, creepy things happened in threes this year….

Tell me your creepy stories and leave me a comment with your experiences!!

Author: Alyssa

I blog on brilliantdistraction.com about relationships, friendships, and the art of genuine integrity and character! Come visit me!

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