A spending problem….

What is a spending problem? A shopping spree? Is it really just a shopping spree? What if it happens when you go to the mall for said spree monthly? Weekly? When you know you deserve a nice perfume or new purse? Or if you’re feeling down because it’s fall and the holidays are coming? You’re lonely? You know you want those really cute boots? 2 pair? Go ahead and get them!!

I am pretty sure there is more to it. I am confident when I spend money I don’t really have, when I ask someone to hold on to my credit cards, except one, that I have more than a spending problem. Some people call that an addiction. I rationalize my decisions, entitle myself to material goods, ignore my debit and engage in the risky behavior of spending addiction. I know I need to stop.Today. Of course there is more to it.

There is the problem to stop and then there is the WHY of it. Why am I using spending to feel loved when I am having trouble feeling loved outside of my acquisition of new shiny things? The WHY will come; right now I need to stop the problem. One day at a time, I am told. Like any other addiction. What can I do to assuage my profound need for things? The need to feel empowered by pulling out my credit card and getting the new Louis Vuitton coin purse or Freebird boots? I have a few ideas…

1. Everyday I will look in the mirror and say no spending on unnecessary things today; I will do this one day at a time.

2. I will make a budge and commit to it.

3. If I am compelled to go to the mall (surprisingly my addiction does not involve Amazon or other online purchases at this time), I will go on a walk, blog, text a friend that is supportive and fully understands my plight.

4. Recommit to the budget and sit the fuck down and watch some tv, read a book, anything.

I think this is a start. I know what’s going on here now and I am ready to stop. Before you naysayers say that’s not a true addiction, let me ask you: does it cost money and at any cost I could end up hungry from now having food, does it cause me to go in debt, does it affect my mental and physical health, is it a compulsion that is rationalized by anything? Hell, yes..

I have a spending addiction and I am ready to stop..

Music I am listening to now: Addicted -Amy Winehouse

Author: Alyssa

I blog on brilliantdistraction.com about relationships, friendships, and the art of genuine integrity and character! Come visit me!

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