Author: Alyssa

I blog on brilliantdistraction.com about relationships, friendships, and the art of genuine integrity and character! Come visit me!

I have the right to

I must admit: I am in a creative slump. I want to write and I felt that I had nothing to say. Until now.  Last year I had an unforgettable experience. I attended a very short segment of  the first annual Washington Area Independent School Institute on Sexual Assault and Consent at Georgetown Day School in Washington, DC (where I went to high school).  I was going to blog about it when I got back home. Then I lost my nerve. I am just being honest. My blog was new and I was just not sure how honest I was capable of being with such a current subject that deserves attention and respect.

Then this week I finished Amy Schumer’s book, The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo. She wrote about consent in one of her chapters. Just as I was finishing her book, I got the GDS magazine in the mail. One of the students had written on the Summit from last year. I read it, and combined with Schumer’s book, I was completely inspired.

I decided that my mistakes, my decisions, and my experiences were mine, yes,  but perhaps someone could learn from my deficits in judgement back in the day.  So, I feel compelled to share a few of these stories.  So if they make ONE person not feel so alone, so isolated and misunderstood, then I have no problem subjecting myself to judgment and the haters that are going to see something wrote with anything anyone does.  Let the haters hate and the judges judge. I am here to be honest Share what I know and have experienced with relationships: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

If I write on the subjects of consent or sexual assault, I may drop a hashtag. That’s not my norm, but I do want to recognize the work being done to bring this subject to light  I want to be part of the movement to allow people to understand what consent means. And what it means to me.

Look for a post about this in the coming week. In the future, I may share some ugly stories about this subject, mostly to let it live in the light, not the dark.

#Consentsummit16

#Ihavetherightto

#PAVE

Have a great rest of your weekend!

 

Silent all these weeks…but still very much alive and kicking!

These last few weeks have been crazy. I have been sick, working a nine-day stretch, and just generally busy. I prioritized blogging not so high and I am sorry for that. I love being here and talking about what’s going on in my life and sharing any tidbits with you, my readers!  I have lots going on and grateful for a full life.

I am still working out and I have a great personal trainer, but time with my PT is going to be done sometime in July (no mas dinero). I need to continue my good food habits (and get wayyyy better) so that I can lose 6 pounds and 2% body fat.  That’s my fitness goal in June.  I’m getting pushed harder to get past my comfort zone and I am grateful I have someone to help me do that. I need to push myself around the lake doing my cardio/walks. I used to walk about 14-15 minute miles. Now it takes me 16-17 minutes.  I’ve definitely lost my groove from last year and I want to get it back. I am going to walk 5.5 miles if it kills me tomorrow before work. I have NO EXCUSE, except the one I make. And that doesn’t count.

It’s good to be back to blogging. I can’t wait to see you all soon!!

 

Imaginary boyfriend

via Daily Prompt: Imaginary

I have an Imaginary Boyfriend. You got it! A figment of my imagination, because my Imaginary Boyfriend could never exist in the real world. Talk about unicorns. My IB knows when to call me out, doesn’t cosign any bullshit. He is smart and funny so I don’t have to explain anything to him. Because that’s exhausting. I hate that. He’s tall, so I can wear any shoes I want and not run into the danger of stepping on his manhood with my heels. I’m only 5’8″; I still need my heels! He has awesome teeth and that’s important. I am the daughter of an oral surgeon. I learned well. My  IB gives me space and has his own friends, but he is emotionally available. What more can I ask for?

My IB is awesome in so many ways I can’t even list them now. When he comes walking down the street and becomes real, in the flesh, I certainly don’t want to miss it. I better be aware. I can’t be messing around with guys who are a waste of my time, frauds who can’t deliver on half their promises. I’ll miss the transformation of my IB.  I can’t do that. I won’t.

 

Have a great day!!

A crouton ain’t nothing but a carb

Okay, I must make inroads on the whole diet debacle. I thought, or incorrectly assumed, that I would automatically make a dramatic weight loss with my new work out regimen of cardio and strength exercises. Eating that same crap I have been eating…for quite some time. How I was that delusional, I have no clue. So my Personal Trainer said it was finally time for me to weigh myself, 1.5 months in. I gained weight. Crap! A lot of it too, not just 1-2 pounds. Where do I go from here? Lose it. Just do it, Nike said. I have a new respect for Nike’s ad campaign. Maybe it’s the athlete in me. Just kidding. Okay, maybe there is an athlete that knows I can get through the transition and break through my old patterns. I am actually doing okay with the work out, it’s the diet that I am failing at miserably. I need to revisit the State of Slim, the amazing book for my diet that helped me lose 30 pounds.

It’s the bread. Damn you, crouton! Now I did NOT regain all my weight (and more) by eating croutons, obviously, but there’s been a ton of bread on that path back to my overweight status. Nothing but carbs. That and some high fat desserts and such.  I don’t need them! I can live with a lot less carbs. Sooo, this morning I did eat breakfast out, but I did NOT eat pancakes. I ate scrambled egg whites with turkey bacon and applesauce. I won’t lie, there was whole wheat toast. But according to IHOP there was just about 440 calories in my breakfast. I can live with that.  I plan on salad and a protein for lunch and I am baking chicken for dinner. My trainer wants me to keep track of everything I put in my body. I can do that!

Hello health! Good Bye Carbs!!!

IF you have any good tips on helping us all get back on the right path, drop me a line in the comment area!!

Back in the business of the work- life balance…

 

I have been a bit out of touch these past two weeks. I am not making excuses, but I am back! I feel that I have let work get the best of me lately. Not the time on the job  per se, but more so the energy it drains from me. I am left mentally wasted and unable to get creatively grounded here, where I would rather be! Then there are the workouts…

 

When I am not working, I am training at the gym with my PT.  It seems like between my training/work outs and my job, I have not left any time for blogging and that makes me sad. I need to redistribute my time. I think I need to get back to sticking to a blogging schedule. I used to have more structure and now my structure has been rededicated to working out in the last month, if you haven’t noticed.

I am going to work on getting a schedule for myself. Without that, I end up on the couch with hot air popcorn, watching Mad Men or something.

Have a good weekend and I will be back very soon!

 

Sorry for the radio silence…new ideas are percolating!

I have taken a week off and it feels so quiet to not be writing. I have also had a lull. I have had a case of writer’s block, or blogger’s block, as the case may be.  Then I kept thinking of all these ideas during my attacks of insomnia. I am back!!

I hope no one thought I would be one of those bloggers that has a site up for 3-6 months and then just loses interest. Definitely not the case.  I have been doing a lot of work out like posts and that’s because my relationship with myself has been first and foremost in my mind as far as really dedicating myself to self-care.  I have some ideas about posts on friendships, because after all, this is a blog about relationships and I want to introduce all types, including the one I have with myself and my female and male friends.  I wanted to also post about the importance of our reltatioinships and connections with our pets.  

I have also been paying a lot of attention to the music I have been listening to, becoming inspired by those influences s well.. 

Please leave me a comment if there are any relationships I haven’t mentioned or you would like to hear about.
Music pairing: The music I have been listening during my waking hours the last week or two is from In The Valley Below and their debut album “The Belt”. 

Off track…featuring gummy bears and lemon drop martinis

Why am I posting exercise and fitness rants when I am supposed to be writing about dating, relationships and communication between males and females as well as female friends?  That was the focus, right? Well, I have found that the relationship I have with myself is pretty damn important. If I can’t be happy with the way I look or feel, how can I exude confidence? I can’t. If I can’t, how can I expect others to be confident in me and experience an attract to someone they want to get to know (male or female)? I can’t do that either. I am going go to be successful in the adventures of relationships with guys and my female friends when I am successful in the relationship I have with myself. Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City character) said this pretty exactly in the last episode of Sex and the City Season six, part two.

Enter fitness and exercise.  And diet (seemingly my albatross). When I have the tools in my tool chest, I have no excuses. Especially when I have used the tools with success in the last year. I have no one to blame but myself when I am to happy with the way things are going. I love the fitness part. I hate the healthy eating part.  Except, I love the way I feel and look when I am successful with healthy eating patterns and habits. I hate the way I feel after eating at  McDonalds. Why is it so hard? It makes total sense that I should be fully on board with the “eating right” thing. But I am not. So far from it. This weekend I have consumed the following in no particular order:

  • gummy bears
  • hot wings and sweet potato fries
  • two IPAs
  • movie popcorn
  • lemon drop martini
  • red wine
  • omelet with bacon and cheese (don’t forget the potatoes and bread with that please)
  • and some other stuff I can’t get remember.

So why is this so hard this year? If I could break through that, I think I could get to the crux of the problem. Just Saturday, I was reminded of my fat content when my personal trainer said “today, we are doing measurements”. Uh? What? I thought the fat caliper measurement was all that we needed to determine how out of shape I was. Clearly, not so much.

I have done the diet, the eating right, the changing of the paradigm. What happened over this last holiday season that got me so far off track? I am going to work on answerig that one, right after I grab a rice cake.  Seriously, they are not so bad when you  put some white cheddar cheese on top. Just kidding….Not.