Category: Dating

Weighing in

So if you recall, last month, I posted about actually exercising when I say I will and the whole nine. Since then, I have been actually walking. Mind you, not to the extent I used to. No 5-7 miles daily for me (although I would love to). Slowly, but surel , I am getting there. The catalyst (publishing a post and saying it out loud, so to speak) to actually walking more than a quick ’round the block’ with my dog was strongly reinforced last weekend. It was amazing!

Last weekend I spent much needed time with family in California.  I told my aunt I wanted to really walk ….and eat well. Did she fulfill my request? Hell, yeah! I had some amazing walks and got to catch up and talk. It was fantastic. We walked all over her neighborhood, CoD, and Sunnylands, not to mention some other great places. I kept my Apple watch on all day,  accumulating extra  miles through out the day. I was racking up 4-7 miles a day. Fantastic, I thought. This is the way to go! I was absolutely excited to be back in the game. I could go on and on about how amazing the weekend was with my aunt and uncle, but  I mustn’t digress.  This is about exercise….so I left California kicking and screaming. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it there!!

So here I am on a Sunday, back home. About a week and what have I done since California? I definitely have not done 4-7 mile days. However, I have been able to get daily 1-4 mile walks in. Sometimes slow walks with my puggle Max. Sometimes at a faster clip. I wish I could say I have already gotten  back to my power walks with 14 minute miles. Damn! That’s the most frustrating part. I can’t seem to walk faster than a 15 or 16 minute mile. Maddening! Perhaps I need to mix my exercise with better food from the diet I achieved so much success from last year.

I realize what I remember to be true. I am going to really have to curb my eating habits as well as really amp up my power walks. They can’t be leisurely strolls. I need to kick ass. Kiss ass and just STOP with the cookies and anything that may tempt me at the office.

Little by little, I will chip away and be ready for my spring dresses. This post makes me want to go out and buy salad ingredients! Yay me!!

What do you guys do daily to watch what you put in your body and get that daily calorie burn?? I would love some  hints. I did well last year, but could refresh with some new ideas!! Please comment and I’ll read each one!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone!

Throwback Thursday 1: His other girlfriend

I know. I know. Kinda late to be submitting a post for Throwback Thursday, but I am going to go for it. Because in my small corner of the world, it is still Thursday evening. But yes, I am running out of time!

So, let’s go back to…..hmmmm say 1995:

There was this week in October that was especially irritating. It was a week that actually was respectful enough to realize since Alyssa’s week didn’t  suck royally enough, it deded to end on a note called: Friday the 13th. While some of the inconveniences of the week are hazy at best, I can tell you that something bad (different shades of bad) happened every day that week. Tuesday was especially memorable. Let me share.

I was dating this guy at the time, J. Since 1995 was a period of pagers and no one really carried around cell phones quite yet, we had set up a “date” to meet up at, yes, Hooters. You know, that one on Parker in Aurora. If you live here in Denver, you know the one.  So I met up with J. and his friend and started the evening with a pitcher of crap beer and wings.  All was good at Hooters. Eating wings and stuff. Then an especially skanky girl came up with short hair and a long braid down the back came up to our table and asked to speak with J. He ignored her. I encouraged him to be polite only to be immediately suspect  when they left to go outside to “talk”. I had no clue what was going on.  Twice, I found them standing a few feet apart when I faked answering a page at the phone booth. We finally finished our wings and the second pitcher of the same dilate crap beer. Then we left and stopped by the girl (we can call her K.). J. paused a little too long and K. got a little too friendly. K. asked me why I was in a rush to leave with her boyfriend. I said “no, he’s my boyfriend”. And that is when she leaped off her bar stool and lunged at me. I hid behind J. and ripped his “Rolex” watch off, which broke in pieces. What are the chances it was a Rolex? Anway…..The girl K. and I ran around, I shit you not, the lobby and the parking lot for ten minutes. At this point, our brave “boyfriend” decided to plot his exit. He got in his car and simply left us. That asshole. No one had phones. No one was texting. No one even bothered to page him as he was en route to his safety nest, the basement of his parents home.

After yelling for ten minutes, and a little exercise around the parking lot, we calmed down. We then plotted a little revenge. Using a dash of poor 20-something judgement, I got in this crazy girl’s car and we headed south. We showed up at his house, knocked on the door and shocked the crap out of J.’s parents. We stomped down to the basement where he was undressing down to his American flag boxers, greeting us. K. needed to really talk to him.  Then K. drops the P-bomb. WTF? What more do I need to endure. Jesus, this was quite a night.  Eventually, we went back to Hooters and my car was waiting for me.

Two Weeks Later:

I never saw K. again. I saw J. a few weeks later at a bar and he told me K. had totally lied and couldn’t fax him legitimate blood test papers.  We ended up talking and he apologized. We saw each other again a few times (again, poor 20- something judgement), but then I never saw him again.

21 years Later:
I spotted him on Facebook and for the hell of it, I sent a friend request. Stupid. I never heard a response.

Well, that was a fun trip down memory lane.

Those Jeans!

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So I am wearing the blue jeans again today.  The ones from my earlier post: Blue Jeans. I needed to get inspired and I was hoping thy would do the trick. I was almost out of inspiration and felt there was nothing to write about. Then I remembered: What was I doing when I got these jeans? I was leaving a not so great situation about 6.5 years ago. And that, my dear readers, is an understatement. What does that have to do with now?

I was on my Facebook feed this week. I was reading my friends’ posts and comments and updating myself on the day’s events as I do most evenings. Now what happened next shouldn’t come as a total surprise to me. After all, I had one last remaining mutual friend on Facebook with my ex-husband. The thing is, my ex had not been on Facebook in any way visible to me via this friend since about 2010. All of a sudden, his profile showed up with a comment on said friend’s post/feed. I was definitely surprised. And feeling immediately nauseated and felt my Facebook was invaded without my permission. And yes, I am well aware its a public space. I wasn’t thinking clearly, only emotionally…. Why did I feel so shocked and surprised, after all these two were good friends?  Maybe because he looked different. Maybe he looked happy. Hard to tell.  Perhaps I resented that he is so happy after putting me through so  much financial hardship and hell back then and now. Fortunately, I have refused to let him take my happiness, at least in the last 4-5 years.  But for all my efforts to overcome that whole incident that I will call a marriage, I was hoping he wouldn’t be looking so smug or happy. SO hard to tell with him.

And that’s why I am wearing the jeans today. To celebrate strength, the strength I have had all along to get through unexpected events that throat me for a loop. I didn’t get totally unravelled, but it was definitely disconnecting.  But now I know, he’s nearby with the death of distance that social media brings us closer to. Its okay. I know there is no way he would contact me.

I am okay. And I say that every  day. Because it is so true.

Have a fantastic end of your weekend. I’m glad I kept these jeans!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A new series: Throwback Thursdays

I think that it may be nice to have a regular series to look forward to every week. Throwback Thursdays are going to be exactly what you expect, a walk down memory lane every Thursday. Some humor, some ridiculous insanity, and a little romance… sometimes.

I’ll try to dig up a photo of myself back in the day and post it. If I can find one suitable for print! I would like to start my series looking at all kinds of relationships and reflecting on how they shaped my view on friendships with men and women and dating the guys that come into my life highly irregularly.

I hope to see you all everyday, but I look forward to hearing feedback about Throwback Thursdays!

Have an awesome weekend!

When I say I exercise, I want to mean it

I started an incredible diet last year. Right around this time as a matter of fact. I lost 30 pounds. I was serious. For many months. Around the holidays, I denied that I was being sucked in by the whole food thing. I can’t deny it anymore. I hate that I have gained some of the weight back. The good thing is how quickly my body made me aware of it. I got headaches when I splurged on my Valentine’s conversation hearts (you know the ones that taste like chalk? Yeah, I am pretty much addicted to them). I felt like crap after the recent doses of fast food. Thank you body for doing me right. For giving me a signal. The cool thing is I did so much good last year, that I only lost two months really, December and January. Interesting how fast weight can come back and bite you in the ass. I think I have gained at least 10 pounds and I will lose it. Back to the 5 mile walks and the grilled chicken. At least my dinners are still healthy. I make the time to ensure my dinners are not crap. It’s the day at work sitting at a cubicle that gets to me. I need to get back to my carrots and mustard dip and cucumbers. Back to early morning protein shakes. Bye bye Moe’s bagels. You were so yummy, but oh so naughty with your carbs and more carbs. Hasta la vista bagel!

So today, I rededicate my exercise initiative. There is no time like the present. I am not needing to start at square one again, but I just need to get back on the lake path at my complex.  I will be reasonable. I will not expect 14 minute mile walks. I will be happy with 15-16 minute miles. For a week. Then I will step it up.

As far as food and diet, I have been faithful to my nutritional needs and diet in the evenings, but its the day at work I am struggling with at the moment. Along with the bagels, the Doritos and the conversation hearts, the diet soda must go as well.

Ready.Set.Go!

See you on the track!

Me, Myself & I: my relationship with alone time

So, I have to confess that quite some time ago, the notion of having a weekend of no plans was terrifying. A 48 hour plus period of time where I need to spend time just with myself would have forced me into a tizzy of “What do I do, where can I go? Who should I call?” and a most uncomfortable, unsettling feeling of not being comfortable in my own skin would set in a self-imposed sense of doom. Maybe it brought back memories of being unpopular, alone, and scared.  Back in the day, I went out all the time, even by myself  to clubs etc….just to be with others and NOT all by myself. Because what could I possibly do on my own that could have value?

Turns out I LOVE alone time. I love the freedom of no accountability for 48 hours. Well, that’s not completely true. I don’t totally disconnect these days. I just merely love the idea of not making plans or feeling like I have to do any specific thing. Today, I am blessed with a few friends.  I don’t feel the need to make a ton of superficial contacts just so I have someone to do something with.  Being comfortable being alone does not mean I like to isolate. It does not. It means I walk confidently into a restaurant and say “Table for one please” or go to the movies: “One for Manchester By The Sea please” (that was my most recent solo venture)…..I’ve done this for a long time and it feels  uttlery grafiying and supremely fantastic.

Being comfortable in my own skin to stay home or go out and do when I want when I want is  freedom that I did not previously allow myself until I entered my  early 30’s. My first solo vacation (not family oriented) was when I was about 30 and traveled to Mexico on my own. That liberated me. It was the turning point. “If I can travel to Mexico alone, I can do anything in Denver alone,” was my thinking. And damn. That was just the beginning. After countless restaurants and movies and trips alone to Mexico since, I can safely say I can’t imagine being restricted by having a mate to travel with or see movies with. I can be alone at home and watch what I want or go out to the movies solo and not wait for someone to want to see the exact same thing. I don’t have to go to bar just to be near people. I am fine. On my own. Any time of the day.  Whether my friend travels with me to Paris this year (which would be the best girl’s trip ever) or not, I know I am good on my own, which liberates me and my friend at the same time. Paris is possible all on my own.

Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t need people, period. OF COURSE I DO. I think it’s more of a question of wanting people in my life. To an extent, I need people for normal socialization. I generally just feel I want certain people in my life. I don’t per se, need them to have my own value as a person. I value myself as myself, solo. People I choose to have in my life are there because I want them. Whether they are family, different female friends, work friends or relationships of a romantic nature.  I choose them and I hope they choose me. Last year, I unfriended and blocked a lot of people on Facebook because I realized they really chose to not be friends with me or I didn’t have a genuine relationship with them. It was so liberating to know that Facebook is now  full of people I want in my life. There are more to add and more to subtract, but its liberating to know I choose what I want in my life and don’t need to have someone in my life for whatever reason.

So what to do this weekend? Besides blogging, I think I would like to catch up on a movie or two. Hanging out with my puggle on the couch with popcorn rewatching “Amy” sounds  cool also. I have so many options!

 

Have a fantastic weekend, whether you are flying solo or with great friends and family!