I have been a bit out of touch these past two weeks. I am not making excuses, but I am back! I feel that I have let work get the best of me lately. Not the time on the job per se, but more so the energy it drains from me. I am left mentally wasted and unable to get creatively grounded here, where I would rather be! Then there are the workouts…
When I am not working, I am training at the gym with my PT. It seems like between my training/work outs and my job, I have not left any time for blogging and that makes me sad. I need to redistribute my time. I think I need to get back to sticking to a blogging schedule. I used to have more structure and now my structure has been rededicated to working out in the last month, if you haven’t noticed.
I am going to work on getting a schedule for myself. Without that, I end up on the couch with hot air popcorn, watching Mad Men or something.
Have a good weekend and I will be back very soon!
I have taken a week off and it feels so quiet to not be writing. I have also had a lull. I have had a case of writer’s block, or blogger’s block, as the case may be. Then I kept thinking of all these ideas during my attacks of insomnia. I am back!!
I hope no one thought I would be one of those bloggers that has a site up for 3-6 months and then just loses interest. Definitely not the case. I have been doing a lot of work out like posts and that’s because my relationship with myself has been first and foremost in my mind as far as really dedicating myself to self-care. I have some ideas about posts on friendships, because after all, this is a blog about relationships and I want to introduce all types, including the one I have with myself and my female and male friends. I wanted to also post about the importance of our reltatioinships and connections with our pets.
I have also been paying a lot of attention to the music I have been listening to, becoming inspired by those influences s well..
Please leave me a comment if there are any relationships I haven’t mentioned or you would like to hear about.
Music pairing: The music I have been listening during my waking hours the last week or two is from In The Valley Below and their debut album “The Belt”.
Why am I posting exercise and fitness rants when I am supposed to be writing about dating, relationships and communication between males and females as well as female friends? That was the focus, right? Well, I have found that the relationship I have with myself is pretty damn important. If I can’t be happy with the way I look or feel, how can I exude confidence? I can’t. If I can’t, how can I expect others to be confident in me and experience an attract to someone they want to get to know (male or female)? I can’t do that either. I am going go to be successful in the adventures of relationships with guys and my female friends when I am successful in the relationship I have with myself. Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City character) said this pretty exactly in the last episode of Sex and the City Season six, part two.
Enter fitness and exercise. And diet (seemingly my albatross). When I have the tools in my tool chest, I have no excuses. Especially when I have used the tools with success in the last year. I have no one to blame but myself when I am to happy with the way things are going. I love the fitness part. I hate the healthy eating part. Except, I love the way I feel and look when I am successful with healthy eating patterns and habits. I hate the way I feel after eating at McDonalds. Why is it so hard? It makes total sense that I should be fully on board with the “eating right” thing. But I am not. So far from it. This weekend I have consumed the following in no particular order:
- gummy bears
- hot wings and sweet potato fries
- two IPAs
- movie popcorn
- lemon drop martini
- red wine
- omelet with bacon and cheese (don’t forget the potatoes and bread with that please)
- and some other stuff I can’t get remember.
So why is this so hard this year? If I could break through that, I think I could get to the crux of the problem. Just Saturday, I was reminded of my fat content when my personal trainer said “today, we are doing measurements”. Uh? What? I thought the fat caliper measurement was all that we needed to determine how out of shape I was. Clearly, not so much.
I have done the diet, the eating right, the changing of the paradigm. What happened over this last holiday season that got me so far off track? I am going to work on answerig that one, right after I grab a rice cake. Seriously, they are not so bad when you put some white cheddar cheese on top. Just kidding….Not.
I want it now. I’m working hard to accomplish my goals. So where’s the pay off? I mean, I’ve been at it for a solid week and a half and NOTHING to show for it. I have to say the frustration of not having the pay off by now has me infinitely irritated. I’m kinda pissed. Like really pissed that my hard-working isn’t leaving anything behind. Like globs of fat. And laziness. And crap food. Now I know in order to get the body I want (the flattest stomach ever and no visible cellulite), I simply can’t expect it now. It’s going to take time and effort. Definitely more than 1.5 weeks of working my body hard, but slightly less focused on my daily nutritional intake. That part sucks. I have been improving, but then I ordered Italian food for delivery tonight. How am I supposed to get it now, when all I am ordering now is baked ziti and garlic knots? It’s going to take a dietary overhaul and this kick ass work out at the gym. Its going to take both in big doses. Wanting it all now is going to have to wait for later.
In the midst of my frustrations and hard work, there are the (not so) small accomplishments. The little feats that make up my personal best to date in my recent experience. They make it ALL worth it. I honestly had no earthly idea that I could row or really do anything remotely athletic. Sure, it’s a rowing machine. Sure, it’s a contrived experience in a gym. But, I am rowing! I am doing these 2 minute cardio bursts and going to out-distance myself each time. The first few times, I rowed 250 meters in 2 minutes. Yesterday, I beat my personal best with my trainer and rowed about 410 meters in 2 minutes. I guess this is meaningless unless you’ve rowed (in real life or the gym). And I am guessing my personal best only applies to the gym version of rowing. I don’t care. And this is why. Its my personal best on this machine. It is the most athletic thing I have ever done in my life.If you went to school with me, you knew I was far from sports-minded. You chose me last for kickball and that’s okay today. Because tomorrow I am headed for the gym to beat my personal best. And that’s all that matters.