The loneliness is palpable, she thought.
So I am sitting here incredulous. At the point of investing cash into this matchmaking/dating organization, the company insisted that the men take their search for a meaningful relationship seriously. It seemed logical, as they were putting down some serious cash, as was I. The first week I checked my options and selected a few members; of all the selected members, I got one rejection. Which is totally fine. I am not for everyone. That’s cool. However, I got not so much as a nod or a rejection from the other 8 or so. They were “active” on the site. What’s happening? So I talked to the member advisors at the site who informed me that possibly they were pursuing other relationships, but were not serious with them ,and thus still active. Hmm? So, over the next week or two, I selected another 8-9 in my wee little dating pool (45-55yo). Yes, it is old and I feel old just checking that box. Again one or two rejections and absolutely nothing from the majority of them. I inquire again and they say, “It’s only a month in. Give it time! It only takes one!! Remember that!”. What??? It only takes one?? No, I want to say. It does not take just one. It takes many frogs to find a prince. Many, many frogs. Usually toads. At best, frogs.
So then, one afternoon, one of the member advisors calls me asking if I would like to go to a speed dating event up in Denver, free of charge. I said “Why not?”. So I went the next evening; four or five women showed up. Four men showed up. One man and one woman matched upon before the event even began and took off. That left well, almost no one. I was sitting with this guy who seemed nice enough and was miraculously from my new town (45 minutes south). We talked before the even started and then during out 4-6 minutes. The other two men were totally not for me. The first one actually had some potential and we ended up grabbing drinks and dinner after. We headed into Cherry Creek in my little convertible (top down, nice night) and talked non stop for several hours. It’s hard to tell, but I will be honest: I may have done more of the talking! But we traded numbers. He then proceeded to cancel on me twice. that week; He lost momentum, almost. And I almost lost interest. He then texted when I didn’t expect he was still interested to get together. I agreed because he did seem nice. I couldn’t tell whether he was keeping the date because he felt bad or because he actually wanted to meet up.
So we finally met up and he picked me up. We headed downtown. We backed up into a bat -mobile (a black type of something that possibly resembled a heavy-duty ATV). A little damage, not too bad. We headed to the 16th Street Mall and hit the Rialto Cafe. Decent conversation. Decent food. We walked around after, but mostly just to find the car. I needed the exercise. We headed back to my place. We had been talking about our places in Parker, so I gave him a tour. He gave me a kiss, then said “Isn’t that what you wanted?”…. WHAT? I replied “Don’t do me any favors”. He retorted: “I’m not” and continued. It continued for a while and then he took off; nothing much happened and barely a mention of hanging out again. Which is fine.
The next two days we texted a little, but I initiated each time. Then the day he was taking off the weekend (Thursday), I decided to NOT initiate. At all. Nothing. And received NOTHING. And that was that.
The end. Till the next time! You know, because they take this seriously.
Music I’m thinking of here: Amy Winehouse’s Back To Black.
I am in transition mode in my weight loss/healthy living program and I am loving it and losing weight at the same time!! I haven’t been perfect, of course. I have had a few cheat days, but mostly i have been on course. I have even lost a few pounds during my maintenance phase. I just watch all my labels and ensure that when I do eat a few more calories, I am cognizant of my choices. I have been exercising more with my puggle Max and we have both been enjoying the longer walks. I can’t lose weight and be in good health just on good diet alone (though that’s a huge thing); I need to work out.
My next step is to get to the gym. When I moved, I drove over to the rec center (when I could have easily walked there) and registered my membership (that comes with my pricy HOA). So, yes, i have been walking more with Max and getting the movement going Now I need to step up my game. Like three steps! I am trying to walk Max at least 1 mile a day three-five days a week. Now, I need to get my fitness plan going at the gym. They have a gym and I am seriously getting motivated. Seriously. Let’s go to the gym. I have my playlist on my iPhone ready to go. What day? How about tomorrow? I know the right answer is “TODAY”, but that’s not going to happen as I have a ton of errands and already walked Max on an extended walk. Why not both you say? That’s a very good question! Like I said , I need to step it up…. I will keep you posted!!
Here I am again, over the hump! I am so excited to be back here in blogging world because I am here to stay. I had a tough professional exam to get through and getting settled post-move. But here I am, ready to write and share!
So when I bought my new townhouse, I suspected it would take me a few months to get settled. I was right. I have been in my home for about a month and a half and still need to hang my artwork and fix my closets and a bathroom toilet. I couldn’t be happier here though. It’s really peaceful : I have green beautiful grass , a recreation center and park, and various paths to walk Max It was a huge decision to buy and I am so relieved I made the right choice, for me & Max.
Now that the exam and the bulk of the move are out of the way, I can direct my focus and attention right here, where I belong. I have had so many inspirations and situations that I have wanted to write about and just couldn’t get this laptop open. My attention kept me with my studies and I really hope I passed that exam!!
A few inspirations that will find their way to my blog:
- My weight loss: I have lost 32 pounds so far and I am working on more! It hasn’t been easy and I have a few blog posts in mind to share the journey.
- Relationships and the matchmaking thing: what a disaster! I believe I just threw away a chunk of money on a dating /match making organization. I got one date out of a speed dating event, but I doubt that’s going anywhere. Posts are coming your way about this also!
- Loneliness vs being alone-there is a difference, yes? I say yes also. I say yes to the palpable loneliness that has us wishing we had plans on a Saturday night. I also say yes to the joy of being alone sometimes. The loneliness is there, whether I am by myself on Saturday night at 6:30pm in bed or in a setting with friends or other couple(s) being sans Significant Other. More to come.
See you really soon. I mean it!
WOW! I had no clue I abandoned my post, literally, for about three months. I am so sorry!
The good news is that I have been so busy with life and fitness with my optimal health plan, that my short term fitness, life goals and outcomes have been favorable!
1. EXERCISE: What a great thing to do! I am improving in this department. My healthy living (with a side of weight loss) program discouraged too much exercise when I was going through such a radical calorie reduction. I soon understood why. Now, in transition, I am getting back to the exercising/walking, both outside and on the treadmill. I am excited to get physically fit in shape in time for warm weather fun in the mountains!
2. LOST OVER 25 POUNDS: This was an amazing feat! I gained so much weight in the last 2 years since losing weight in 2016. WHY?! How did I let that happen? I can tell you exactly what happened. Maybe this has happened to you. I did not transition into a way of healthy living. I did not set myself up for healthy maintenance eating and healthful and wise choices. I have now lost weight and looking to lose about 10 more. Most importantly, I am learning how to live with daily healthy living with a slight bent toward losing a bit more weight. Once I get to my desired weight, I will admit that the healthy living will be a challenge. I want the healthy living and most of the time, its not that hard. But sometimes….. yes, sometimes I am craving nachos and nerds or gummy bears. I am not going to lie. I want to stay in this weight loss mode until I am secure in my healthy choices and know I am not going to yo-yo back to this weight from December.
3. NO MORE DATING ONLINE (doing something else that I will delve into a little later for all your curious people)….yay! I have joined more of a matchmaking thing. I guess we still have to put ourselves out there. This time, it seems different. It involves more work, but the outcome hopefully includes some more quality. With those free online sites, you get what you don’t pay for! You know what I am talking about: Plenty of Fish, Bumble, Tinder…the list goes on. It’s also dramatically different because instead of getting into the time suck of these dating sites (yes, plural), I can live life and blog more, work more, and exercise more. I can check in on line with this different singles group after selecting certain people. We’ll see how this goes. I don’t officially start being eligible online till after I finish my profile. Who knows that this singles group will bring!
4. BOUGHT A TOWNOUSE!! Okay, how did this just happen in three months? I wasn’t even looking for a place. The truth is I wasn’t looking at all. I went to an open house one weekend with a friend. I fell in love with the townhouse I saw. I called over my future realtor and talked to a lending officer right then and there. She was at the open house. The unexpected and rare thing happened: a domino effect of contractual agreements just fell into place. From the date the offer was accepted and the contract signed, I closed on my townhouse 30 days later. I had no clue my life would change this much this soon or how much my life would change. I think part of this is because I am moving to the suburbs from the city. It’s going to be a big change; but I think I am ready.
Yes, I have done this all since my last post in December! Things have been crazy and overwhelming, but reassuring that I have been making progress in positive life changes.
I think with these new changes (and being house rich cash poor I am sure), I will be blogging a lot more and sharing my dating experiences once again. And this time, in the middle of suburbia. Dating in suburbia. I see that being one of my future posts.
I am on my way to a more healthy way of living. My fitness regimen, admittingly, has been a bit lax. I will make an affirmation: I am kicking my workouts into high gear after these first three weeks of resetting my body’s response to this new diet program. I am totally excited!
I have already lost 9.2 pounds in two weeks. I think the weight loss will start to slow down, but I think I am on my way to meeting my goal of 40 pounds by May 1, 2018! I have been relatively happy with 2017. EXCEPT my weight, which was more than steadily creeping up and up until almost 3 weeks ago. Now, I have a new beginning! I know what you may be thinking…isn’t it hard to start in the middle of the holidays with all the food and drink? Well, I say to that: what better time? I would just be gaining more weight than usual during this period and I wanted to lose rather than gain. If I can lose weight during the holidays amongst a great amount of edible temptation, the rest of the year will be cake! But I won’t eat the cake. I promise!
Once my body has adjusted to these new low calorie intakes, I will go back to my work outs. My cardio/fitness exercise is very important to me and I don’t want to let it go. It was suggested that I may take a small break from it while my body is getting used to the new calorie intake. I am glad I took a break, but I am ready for a good work out!!
As for optimal health, I hope to reap the benefits of good sleep, meditation (that will be a challenge), eating healthy, and making emotionally healthy choices. This program is designed to help me lead a life that will work not only on the diet plan for weight loss, but in a maintenance state as well. I think, no, I know that was my absolute downfall during my last diet and significant weight loss. I went back slowly to eating what ever I wanted and didn’t really exercise. I drank more alcohol regularly (never caring or counting those empty calories!!) and as a result, I ate more crap. This is the time for an overhaul.
I am going home (back East will always be home in a sense) at the end of May. As May 1 is my target date, I should be in great shape when I head home to see family.
A note about relationships. I usually write a bit about that and I am NOT taking a break. I just haven’t met anyone worthy of spending time with. I will keep you posted!!
I am very excited about my new exercise and diet plan. In my first week, I lost 5.9 pounds and 5”. I am positive I measured wrong because how can you lose just 5.9 pounds and that many inches? I will see next week. This is very encouraging! Yay me! I will make sure I measure accurately next Saturday. I am dedicating to losing this 40 pounds and I think an important part is exercise.
I am concentrating on cardio this time! I doubt I’ll be building muscle (on the nautilus type machines) that is remotely measurable, but I don’t want to chance it while I am measuring my lost inches of fat!! I have been using the bike to warm up for about 15 minutes, then stretch my warmed up muscles…then off to 30 minutes of cardio before I hit the mat for abdominal exercises. For the 30 minutes of cardio, I use the elliptical machine for 10 minutes, walking on the treadmill for another 10 and finish back up on the bike for my last 10 minutes. My challenge now is a commitment to push myself on each one, greater incline, faster speed. I am getting there! My next work out is on Monday morning!
Tell me what you do to exercise now that it’s getting colder outside! Does that stop you?
See you here soon!