So after hearing that I had a stroke at the hospital, I made a prompt call to the neurologist on Monday. They were able to get me in the next day and in I went. The PA put me on a high dose cholesterol medication and a daily 81mg aspirin as preventative medicines for stroke control. I proceeded to get headaches daily. I would get them for the next two to three weeks daily, some days worse than others. I had a note to get a special screen cover for my work computer monitors at home. They are still working on that order. I have missed about three days of work because of headaches that made it to hard to focus on anything safely, especially at work.
In the next week following the neurologist appointment, my neurologist PA wrote an order for a MRI and angiogram, both with out contrast. Fine. Then in the next week after that, I got a mammogram results call stating I need to come in as they found a small mass. Of course I had that ultrasound/special mammogram test scheduled for the same day I was going up anyway for the neurology tests. So, I scheduled myself for a super stressed Tuesday in about a month from then. It seemed so far away back then. Time went by, and the headaches started to subside slowly. It took at least a month to be able to blog as screen work was hard. I had to reserve my screen work energy for my job, so the blogging had to take a back seat. I worked on my Pilates and my eating regimen with Weight Watchers.
Soo the weeks passed and I had great friends who were there for both the mammogram and the brain tests. It was nice to get through stress with friends. It definitely took my mind off the actual tests and results. It turned out the mammogram just revealed cysts (two) and they were no big deal according to the radiologist. Yay! So I had magazines to keep me company when my first friend left after those results were read. Then a couple great friends came to meet me for an early dinner. One of them actually stayed with me for the tests. Then we celebrated the end of Stress Day with a beer down on Broadway. Life is so much better with friends. I am so blessed. I certainly could have gotten through the day on my own, but having irreplaceable friends to take my mind off the stress of the anticipated results made the day that much better. Days later, I got the results and they basically just confirmed I had a stroke, but couldn’t detail for me when it happened.
Since then, I have been told my cholesterol levels are way down (well, duh!!) and my headaches remain under control for the most part. As mentioned in my previous post, I never heard from the virtual reality game player again. I never contacted him either. Maybe things are best left in the past. As for the future, nothing much changed from hearing about the stroke and having the concussion, except I am super aware of how fragile a good health history is when you get older.
Stay tuned for me to get back in the saddle on my fitness/health and relationship posts. I just wanted to explain to all of you why I had been so out of touch lately!!
I had a rough end of the summer. It was not what I expected. I expected to continue my Pilates and lose weight. That did happen. Just a lot slower. Life gets in the way, doesn’t it?
So, in the very beginning of August, I was hanging out with an acquaintance and he suggested he introduce me to virtual reality. It was fun…until it wasn’t. I chose two games that were quite tame. I couldn’t believe it. I was immersed in a video game. I was such a novice. I still am and always will be, now. The second game was nearing the close and I was ending the game by handing the robot his game back. The next thing I knew, my head made contact with the tempered glass entertainment center. I was bleeding in a few places. Not gushing, but definitely some blood. I got up and was instantly nauseated and had a horrible headache. The guy patched me up with some gauze, then said “it’s probably time to go now”. Yeah sure….I wanted to get out of there all right. I was not likely fit to drive. My head was pulsating and my heart was racing. I drove home anyway, totally forgetting my sunglasses. He bought them to my house a few minutes after I got home. He left just as quickly; that would be the last I would ever see of him.
The next day, I had to work. I made it halfway through my shift and I told a coworker about my horrible headache and blurred vision. She said, given my previous day’s adventure, that I needed to go to an emergency department. So I stopped working (fortunately, I work from home) and Ubered my way to the closest emergency department.
I got to the ED and got triaged then waited in the waiting room for about 1.5 hours. I finally got called back and given my symptoms, they xrayed my wrist (which was not broken) and got a CT ordered. I waited. And I waited. They said I probably had a concussion. Then just a little later, the PA comes in and says “Did you know you have a history of a stroke?”. “Oh a stroke? Wait. What? A stroke?”…. I was blown away and you can bet I was going to get to the bottom of this. They said it was likely an ‘old’ stroke and they couldn’t determine when it happened.
I finally left the ED that night shocked and overwhelmed. With a little bit of a residual headache. The next two to three weeks would be full of daily headaches as I soon learned. It was dreadful.
The next day I called the neurologist’s office. I had a history of headaches and migraines, so I had a specialist already.
In my next post, I will share what happened next.
I tried. I wanted a light and airy summer and I have had a nice summer. So far. But the light and airy part were the guys are concerned has been a little disappointing. I am thinking there are two reasons for this. First, the online dating thing does not work for innocent and good clean fun. After you post on your profile you are not looking for anything serious, it is assumed by a great majority of men that you are looking for a hook up. There appears to be no middle ground. No dating, not meet ups or even a cocktail to see if there is some viable chemistry. I am kind of incredulous that they actually expect to show up at your door and as one Aussie described “just kinda get right into it”. WTF?! Not only is this horribly disrespectful for all parties involved, it is ludicrous in the safety department. Who actually thinks a woman is going to travel to a hotel room? With out even meeting for a drink or a cocktail (much less a few dates)? These guys think they just need your address for a good time right off the internet, without so much as a date, phone call, or even a text with an updated picture to ensure you’re not inviting someone on a date who is NOT the person you’ve been communicating with for any amount of time? This is craziness. I can ONLY surmise that guys try and succeed with this full throttle mission is because it actually works. If this is the case, as insane as it sounds, I would love to give these women a pep talk in safety online. I don’t know if they are naive, lonely, or merely stupid? What is going on today? I have tried, but just recently realized a whole month of exploring the light and airy option, it simply won’t work for me. And that’s the second reason this ‘light and airy’ summer wasn’t going to work. I am just not set up that way.
I’m not Samantha. I can’t just meet guys and sleep with them. I can’t just have meaningless fun relationships (if you can call them that). I didn’t really try hard because I could not take these guys seriously. I tried to have fun with it, but it just seemed (to me) to be lonely and dangerous. I couldn’t partake. Instead, I learned a lesson that I am pretty sure I already knew. I don’t do one night stands and I prefer romance. That’s it. I need a real relationship. Not multiple. Just one real significant relationship that includes communication, respect, autonomy and teamwork all at the same time. I guess I am more of a Carrie and way less Samantha.
So, I joined a dating service that is a major investment, but its a matchmaking service that doesn’t work on algorithms and searches of empty and possibly fake profiles. I already have a date for Tuesday, so I am pretty excited!
Finally! I think I’m on the right track. Yay me! I found a food/lifestyle program that works for me. It is so much more motivating and I can eat real food! All the time! Can you tell how excited I am? I just finished my first week. While I didn’t meet goal two days of the seven, one of them was my 50th birthday, so I will give myself a pass on that one. The other was a great learning experience.
The motivation is there for me to really be conscious of what I put in my body; everything has a point value. Wait, I take that back! There are over 200 food items with no point value. I can eat whatever I want of those. The goal for me is 23 points or fewer a day. The less point items I consume, the better I am doing. I am just getting started. For me, just having any leftover points at the end of the day is a personal victory, seeing as I love food. I am learning to strategically love the foods that have less points! As I mentioned before, last Saturday was a learning experience. I went out for dinner (always a challenge on points). I thought I was being good ,measuring out my tablespoon of butter and sour cream for my baked potato and ordering a simple Caesar salad. What i realized, fairly quickly, is that I should have had one or the other, not both. I should have just had the sour cream (less points). I should have also had a tossed salad with oil and vinegar , not a point pricy Caesar dressing. It was delicious, but even at one tablespoon each and the dressing, the day was a fail. Live & learn! So I trudge forward and I have a simple smile on my face because I’ve got this!
So fitness has been a success!! I started Pilates on July 2nd; I love it! It really is helping my strength and balance. Also my core/abdominal strength is kicking ass! I am working my body in Pilates classes three times as week and for 3 more weeks, I have personal training twice a week. I walk my dogs at least twice a day and I am going to try to do an hour walk once a week on top of that. I hiked last weekend for an hour, so there’s my walk!
I think that while this fitness is fabulous, my biggest challenge are the food choices I make each and every time I think I am hungry. Am I hungry or am I craving? Hungry for nutritious sustenance? Or Craving. Junk. Food? Each time I want to eat something, this is what need to process in my brain. I come back to this food thing because it is the most challenging for me. Does anyone else find this the most challenging? I mean of course there are times I don’t want to get off the couch where I am watching Sex and the City, but I am more driven to push myself there than with the food. So, I just need to work on that and that’s where my new lifestyle program comes into play. Since i had the two fails, I am not sure if I will have a weight loss tomorrow (my check in day). I promise I won’t beat myself up if I don’t lose weight. I can’t gain, can I? I mean I am not muscling up that much with my fitness?!
Please drop a line and let me know if you have any helpful hints on the food challenge. I could use all the help I can get.
See you soon!
I am really struggling. What is my problem!? I want to join the ranks of healthy and fit minded people. I want to balk at burgers, pizza, and nachos. What is making me instead, whole heartedly magnetized to these foods? Is it emotional eating? I don’t think so? But how do I know? I don’t feel especially more satisfied after eating crap food, so why do I still eat it? I have done the committed diet lifestyle before. Twice!
I think sometimes I am just not ready. Then I think, “that’s not true!”… I want to change, lose weight, lose the desire for poor choices. Right now I just finished a low calorie snack that is part of a lifestyle change…and an unsweetened iced tea (no calories) and feel great. Every time I make good choices, I feel great. This is a no brainer, right? Right. Now I just have to shift my choices. Protein and veggies (French fries don’t count) for me! Once I lose the weight, all the abdominal and strength training work I am doing with my personal trainer will show through, given that I am still working out.
On a positive note, I am getting exercise in mostly every week. A nice walk, dancing at the club (don’t laugh-I burned about 500 calories Friday night!), walking around huge convention centers (another 350 calories)…. I also am wrapping up my personal training this month. I am starting Pilates and super excited about that. I will be committing to that three times a week. For the weeks that personal training and Pilates over lap, I will be doing them both on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Yay me! I am looking forward to making a difference with my new Pilates body, but I said that with personal training. That’s where nutrition and good food choices come in.
Here I go!
If any one has ideas on how to get motivated, I will certainly invite them. Intellectually I know this comes from within, but inspiration is always invited!!
I’m not used to these light, easy going things. I guess I am always headed toward these intense serious things, that I don’t know what to expect with a light relationship. Perhaps the expectations are minimal.
I am not sure what to make of it all and I am pretty sure I can’t do it. But damn, I am going to try since i want a light summer with not too much seriousness. Does this mean, however, that there is no respect for my time? Does this mean not putting much effort into making plans? Generally, does a light relationship equate to minimal consideration to the other person? I am thinking yes to all of the above. This has been my recent experience. So I am learning. I started making my own plans and if he is not available, then I guess I won’t be seeing him. He’s doing this, so I will as well, at his request even.
So this holiday week, I had options; i thought he had a potential of July 4th free, so in the back of my head, I still kept that open and made plans for the other days this week. My error. Apparently, he had plans that he ‘had to confirm’ so he didn’t bother to mention. Apparently, he was available the other days, but he didn’t tell me and felt we shouldn’t plan them (just in case he got a better offer, who knows?). Well, too bad. I am now getting educated in the “little effort relationship”. I live my own life and see if we fit into them. No advance plans, really. No open communication.
Turns out, i won’t be seeing him this week since he confirmed his July 4th plans with his ‘friends’; he claims he’ll try to ‘move something around’, but what’s the point really? He’s going away for a month the day after my birthday next week and I am not waiting for that. I am moving on. i mean this is a light relationship. It requires little effort.. Next.
I have been in such a stagnant mess about my nutrition. I don’t know what it is, but I am half-assed about my diet plan and eating lifestyle. I think I want to eat well; I even try on many occasions by grabbing one of my fueling on this lifestyle plan I am on. But it is NOT working. I end up going out and being half-assed: eating a big cheeseburger with out the bun and salad on the side instead of fries. Healthy-ish at best. It would be best to get a salad with grilled protein. Taco salads are not real salads either when you consider the sour cream and cheese. Or Chipotle for the same reason, even when I go with out the tortilla and with black beans and brown rice. First of all, I need to lose the rice. And the cheese and sour cream. What am I talking about? I need to just not walk into Chipotle. Nothing personal Chipotle, but you are not healthy eating for me. I am doing okay on the fitness part of weight loss, but the nutrition is so difficult right now for me. Weight loss is mostly about nutrition. Once I lose this weight, my awesome core from my good fitness practice will show through!
I need to just stick with proteins and veggies. That’s really it. I lost 32 pounds this way. I am going to use the rest of my fuelings from this diet/lifestyle plan I started again (I had lost some weight temporarily with the plan in the beginning of 2018 or end of 2017 I think). Then I will go 100% to proteins and veggies. .I think my biggest thing is I need to jump in 100% and just do it. I can’t overthink all the reasons why I am not choosing to jump in 100%. I just need to DO IT!. What is my problem? I can’t even think about it. Just do it. What is stopping me? Not important. Just do it.
Get the idea?